Mat Kubo: ActionFunTime

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2010-11-01T17:50:00.006-10:00

And on!

2010-10-25T14:26:00.007-10:00

Some good people I have met and given cassettes to in recent days.

And it continues...

Problems

2010-10-20T15:16:00.002-10:00

If you are reading this, and we just met, I'm sorry for the lack of images and updates. I'm having trouble with this blog. Problems accumulate. They seem to find each other and multiply. I can't load images on this blog for a few hours now.

I went out on a mission today, but I had to sprint home back to my laptop to fix some issues with the study abroad office at school. There is a huge disconnect between their office and their site. Whatever.

Anyhow, prior to, and after, I've been agoraphobic today. Which is just crushing when my work relies on the outside. I can sit and accumulate data from social media, then I must somehow return it back to the analog. And some days, it just doesn't happen.

I did meet some really good people at Bubbleheads, right across from where I live. I played them a quote from Bill Cosby and gave them the tape, and briefly explained the project.

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."

It turns out they're planning to do some kind of "live blog" event, like an open mic. Which I guess really, an open mic is an analog blog of sorts. I'm pulling other people's quotes, from other people's updates, and disseminating them, in analog. Anyhow, I hope to visit them again, have a bubble tea and hooka session, and maybe talk about what we're both doing.

Tomorrow will be a more productive day. But I suppose you need those days to break down and freak out about life. Helps you put into perspective the whole. And then to meet some really amazing people working on something congruous.

I might be moving this blog soon. Links to follow. Suggestions welcome.

Mat.

Word Play

2010-10-19T10:35:00.004-10:00

I ran my data from my 96 hours of documenting almost all my conversations and interactions into wordle.net. Here's what you get:

Then I ran data from this blog. Here's the results:

It's interesting. At least from the 96 hour project, you can tell I spend so much time on Facebook and Twitter, and email. And then talking about my work.

The Progress

2010-10-18T14:07:00.003-10:00

If I gave you a cassette tape, please see my Facebook page for more images. Blogspot is so troublesome when it comes to uploading images.

Thanks.

Mat.

Messages

2010-10-10T05:29:00.004-10:00

I've come to realize that maybe I should be up earlier. My mind seems to work different in the morning, less linear. I guess it's because I'm still pulling through different levels of consciousness... Like time in your dreams is gigantic, but sometimes you've only slept minutes. My alarm sounds often become textures and patterns to me.

I've been trying to work on more typed posts. The thing about actually typing your blog is, you need to be succinct, and there's no editing. And I only have a scanner at my studio, not at home. Still, I have been taking notes in the form of letters to an art colleague, and those will be scanned soon and posted.

A few days ago, I ended a 96 hour-long, behavior transforming project. I attempted to, in every way possible, document every conversation and inner dialogue I had. This took the form of type-writered, hand-written, and obsessive notating on my laptop. I was allowed to paraphrase, especially while writing by hand. When there was not conversation I was engaged in, I would write out thoughts that I was having, or external dialog that could be peripheral conversations, sounds, and music. I often cut and paste, what I was reading in the news, on Twitter, and Facebook. A good chunk of this is mundane. Some very personal. You learn some things about yourself when you write everything down all the time. You learn about all those little things throughout the day that you pay no mind to. And thoughts are not in the form of words, like we think they are. At least mine aren't. II found that there was a little disconnect from my thoughts to the page, thoughts seemed very abstract, non-linear, occurring all at once, without a phonetic language binding them. Language is linear, physically, and tied to time. I'm not yet sure what to do with all this data. I'd like to make some kind of graphs and physical forms to show what happened, how often this, and so on... to trivialize and magnify the experience.

This project dove-tailed somewhat into another piece I'm working on. I started collecting conversations I had with people, recording them via analogue cassette tape, and then giving the participant one copy of that. There was something about this approach I didn't like, maybe it was the total open-endedness of it, I think I needed to mine more from the piece. I started leaving messages on tapes for people, then giving them away. The earlier messages included snips of my notes, weather reports, and free-flowing letters to the recipient that I had not met yet. This then evolved into more "message" laden messages, inspirational and witty-sounding quotes, that I gleaned from Facebook and Twitter. You know the quotes. The bad ones. And funny ones. Things people say to others to make themselves feel good about their life. Self-help. So I have been putting one message on an audio-tape, and giving them to people I meet walking around San Antonio. Much like the other projects, it's all about overcoming approaching random, and sometimes not-so-random people, and trying to pull them from the normal routine of things, showing them, and this time giving them something possibly outside their lives, and then going from there. The messages are short, 20 seconds to 3 minutes. I'm still on the fence about filling whole tapes with messages. But there is something nice and precious, possibly disappointing about getting just one. Maybe I'm thinking that my day is so filled with all of this kinds of information, just having one to focus on is nice. And it's analog. Tangible. Then there's another facet, I'm often told that they will have to make an effort to locate a tape player to listen to the tape. I include my information on the tape, hopefully participants will see this blog and maybe contact me. I end some quotes with my approval of them.

Some messages:

"The only courage that matters, is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next."

"Experience is what you get, when you didn't get what you wanted."

"After blowing one's nose, do not look in one's handkerchief as if pearls and rubies have fallen out of one's head."

If you have any good, and bad quotes, send them my way.

I have to get back to recording some of these.

Some of my typed journals

2010-10-02T12:58:00.005-10:00

In analog

2010-10-01T11:35:00.002-10:00

It's strange now, I actually journal a lot these days, in the form of letters to my friend. We are both working on an exhibition in November, both working in the same studios; we do talk, but the more distilled content comes out in our letters that we send to each others' individual spaces. My letters are entirely produced on one of four different typewriters. I was thinking of reproducing them here, but typing all of that out is not fun. I guess I could scan them. Then again, it's a working system, for a work in progress, I don't know how public that kind of dialog should be.

Anyhow, I'm going back to cassette tapes. I leave messages on tapes. Have conversations with people on record. Then I give the recipient a copy of the tape.

It's absurd. Fun? I'm not sure yet. I'll find out.

Fall

2010-09-01T14:23:00.002-10:00

I am starting this blog up again. There's been some requests, and I appreciate the interest. It's also a good tool to help me get out some thoughts. And being a public space, often I receive some good input from you. I welcome it.

What is your favorite out-dated technology?

I love cassette tape recorders/players. I just won a punch clock on ebay. Old office things. As you might have seen in some pieces previously.

Finale

2010-05-04T12:26:00.003-10:00

I found it interesting we didn't have the "introduction to new media" presentation and discussion until we were well into the semester. What an odd term. And it's old. Historically, everything has been a "new" media for a time. I find it interesting the correlation of visual and aural arts: visual art has been playing a catch up and response to the reproduced image, in much the same way aural art has approached recorded sounds. If reproducible, what of the "originals"? What can be done with the reproductions? Does the reproduction have the same power? What is authentic and original anymore?

Yes. Just more questions. It feels everything is sampled, a sample of something previous. Making reference to another context. Using context. Recontextualizing. It's all been done. It's all been co-opted. So what have we? Everything is a collage, a bricolage, an assemblage of sorts. This can be depressing. But I realize culture is a huge pastiche of ideas. We organize them, pull what we need, eliminate what we don't. Language. It's all collaboration. This really gives me hope of things. And working with open source. And other collaborations.

Just unlearning even further that I am not original graced by the hand of God genius auter artist. Just another piece. Working with other pieces. Piecing this whole thing together. Then taking apart. Making sense somewhat.

Wrapping things up...

2010-05-03T16:54:00.002-10:00

The semester is over for the most part. A few critiques left, but none for my work. And one class critique for the course I T.A. I'm actually looking forward to that even though it's eight in the morning.

I never got around to playing much with the Arduino this semester. It's a summer project now. I have some old Nintendo 8 bit system parts that I want to dismantle and use them to control other things. Somehow through my half wake consciousness probably in March, I ordered two more NES systems, while forgetting that I had my old one sent to me a while ago. Now what.

We had a brief tutorial with some sound editing software a few weeks ago. I have a brand new digital 8 track to mess around with. This could open up some new possibilities. I haven't worked in sound very deeply for a while. There was a composition I did with 12 analogue cassettes and four cassette players, but that was really more about the many voices.

I caught Justin Boyd's class performance last week Friday on the outside of the art building. I'm not sure how many students were part of his ensemble, but he had several playing with what looked to be like theremin-like devices, someone on three cymbals, a few on pcs, manipulating parameters, a guy with a whole array of guitar effects, and someone on an old school wash board, (which I have to say, was the most fun addition to me, even the player's dead-pan style.) The sound was just as you suspect, a cacophony. They could have been louder. I really would have liked them to be. But it was so refreshing having some less musical sounds echoing in the courtyard between our buildings that is usually inhabited by BBQ's and terrible music. I remember artists in Japan making huge walls of sound pieces like this in the 1990's. And the audience would just sit there, studying intently. In small clubs, just torturing instruments and effects, torturing ears. The anti-rock. Or all the rock without the roll. The volume, the intensity, without the song structure. That's how I placed this kind of compositions. And I long for this sometimes. I want to see the Boredoms in the 80's. Zenigeva. And then Naked City with Eye. I really hope Boyd makes these performances a more frequent tradition. Maybe every Friday. I should try to sit in on his class.

Winding down...

2010-04-19T18:07:00.005-10:00

This semester is coming to an end. A welcome one of sorts. I did have a lot of good times in the past four months. I feel adjusted to San Antonio living, schooling, commuting. I have finally felt good about my work and situation here, unlike the Fall semester that was a shock to my system. I was feeling a bit burned out from the first two months of the year, all the sleeping at school, planning and installing of the exhibition at Blue Star took a toll. The rest of the semester has been catch up from then, trying to pull together ideas and seeing what can work in the remaining time. Both in the Blue Star performance piece, and current work, I have pulled back some. Whereas last semester I had been relying almost absolutely on my participation with people, I would seek them out, and success was measured almost solely on whether my experiments would show feedback; No Talking, Just Typing has allowed me to set up an experiment in a safe location. Safe as far as the gallery is designated as an art space, and I am not meeting strangers from CraigsList in strange locations. I perform, people react. I can get into a character, an office clerk that does not talk, except for the abrupt distorted announcements calling the next participant over the PA system. The stress is different. Being on for three or four hours is rough sometimes. But I've been having a lot of fun with the piece in the last two sessions. People stand right behind me, sit around me at times. That freaked me out on the first occasion, but I have learned to relinquish my personal space even more, and I am ok with people that close when I'm on. (When I'm at the bus stop, please don't come within6 inches, that's just rude.)

RIP

2010-03-31T08:52:00.004-10:00

I missed the class discussion on RIP: A Re-mix Manifesto, so here are some thoughts. Girl Talk, pretty genius. I like that he doesn't use a Mac, just a little thing that drives the point home that anyone can re-mix with cheap and readily available technology.) The mash-up. Haven't cultures always made mash-ups? Musically speaking, there are 12 notes in the Western scale, there is so much, or so little one can do with that. Folk songs, often are borrowed rhythms and melodies from other folk songs; words, contexts replaced by new interpreters. Isn't language a mash-up? We borrow words and terminologies all the time from other languages and cultures, updated all the time, edited as we see fit.

We define musical styles by their sonic nature, rhythmic qualities, etc. Certain periods have certain styles, each fit a kind of mode or sound that we can recognize. How many 12-bar blues songs have you heard that are all essentially the same? Are these artists ripping off each other?

Artists cull information from the world around them. We've done this from the beginning of time. Mongolian throat singers emulate the sounds of the plains, water trickling, horses... We speak of our experiences, that are common to a culture, and even across cultures. How many kinds of songs can you really write? There is the new found love song , the unrequited love song, heartbreak song... There is a common shared human experience that is expressed through art, translated, re-translated, it's not original as all our experiences and emotions are not unique to a particular person or culture.

There was some talk of ownership of information being an outcome of a capitalism. More on this later...

When you're down...

2010-03-28T19:30:00.000-10:00

This makes me smile every time.

Passion Pit - Little Secrets

Where have I been...

2010-03-28T18:30:00.004-10:00

It's been a little while. My apologies to the New Media Squad for my slow blog entries. This semester has been just... an explosion.

"28 Artists for 25 Years" exhibition is still up at Blue Star. I'll be headed there this week for more performances on First Thursday and First Friday. The piece I installed is titled

No Talking, Just Typing, and it is just that. I sit at a desk dressed as a file clerk circa 1970's, people take a number, they get called (the only time I actually talk during the performance), they sit with me, and we have a conversation of sorts. Two pieces of paper with carbon paper between them are passed back and fourth from our two typewriters that sit across from each other, they receive one copy. The results are a slow, analog IM. Or not so instant message/text. I've written some summations and notes in my phone and notebook post last month's performances, here are some:

pics here

and here

There is a certain authority of a desk. A desk, a tie, and a numbering system. There is a bureaucracy of having people take a number and then wait to be called. Give the people numbers and they will wait, even if they are not sure what they are waiting for. The first night, I had a seating area, which was removed the second night. It worked fine, as the seaters just sat there because there were chairs, and they rested their weary feet, they were not waiting for their number to be called. The sessions of typing, where the participant and I type messages to each other, last from five to ten minutes. More numbers go out than can be achieved during the openings, I have gone up to 68 on my official counter, somewhere around 40 something actual sessions, while somewhere around 90 numbers have been pulled. And like all bureaucracies, it comes apart sometimes. The no-shows come back, angry they've been skipped. What is really interesting to me is the odd sense of authority, you can make people feel like they belong or are left out. Even in my system of stamping, ("Approved", "Completed", and "Void") incorporates this. Most of the conversations get "Approved", those are ones that I did quite enjoy and found some real shared ideas. "Completed" is just satisfactory, I had a handful of these. Two conversations were stamped "Void", one as requested by the participant, and the other by someone who was trying to make jokes that really weren't amusing, or truly could not type at all; I wasn't judging on typing skills, as one would think we'd all have some sort of experience by now.

I had a few sessions with kids, and they absolutely love the typewriters. Most have never seen one I assume, though they must be familiar with a qwerty keyboard. I imagine it must be like a computer with no screen. A buzzing, mechanical, loud (they are mic'd) computer; with no delete, no spell check, no google. I think the tactility of the typewriter is fascinating for kids, it's loud, clunky, and clumsy compared to computers, and spits out this real piece of paper, an original somewhat; that is the only document and evidence of the exchange. Maybe I'm just a big kid.

At some point in the night I took a break to eat something, and two teens sat down at the desk and typed to each other. I came back to find them, and first was a little annoyed, but then realized how magical this was. The audacity of youth! So I directed them, as they didn't understand the carbon paper, or what they were supposed to do. I didn't give them much instructions, just helped out, and then dj'd the effects as they typed, and made some dub sounds. One of the participants, this girl with shockingly orange hair, types to her friend "there's no talking asshole." That's how it started. Fantastic.

Problems? This piece is installed as a participatory work, days I'm not there, people are invited to type and leave me a message, or whatever they feel. Gallery staff turning on and off my set up is a question. I disconnected my mixer and turned off my amp so those won't be on for entire days. If the typewriters stay on for days, they might burn out their motors or blow their belts. So far, it's been ok. Lots of random messages. Wite Out on my desk. (Yes, Wite Out is spelled like that.) People leave me their email addresses on types pages, I find that so amazingly charming. I like to do things the most backwards and analog way possible sometimes, and I'm really happy others see the beauty in that too.

More to come.

Days

2010-02-23T16:58:00.002-10:00

Installing work at Blue Star today, tomorrow, and I don't know when. All my energy has been going to that. Been sleeping at school since I've lost my vehicle. Life is not that bad. Being surrounded by my work all the time is nice. Working all the time is nice too.

Need to figure out how to shoot this performances for next week Thursday and Friday. Need to sharpen the performance some. Tighten it up a little. I've had a lot of practice runs with everyone in the studio and art department. It's going well. Going to be loud. I hope Blue Star won't mind. I got my desk into the space, all 300 pounds of it. So many little things to account for.

Slow Life

2010-02-15T18:46:00.008-10:00

I've been without a car in San Antonio for just over two weeks now. Well, again. Been riding the bus and walking a lot. Which has its benefits. All the walking helps me think some and my body feels better. I've been working late, so I have been sleeping at school on some occasions. I'm pretty comfortable in my little studio space. It's nice having all my things and tools around me Once I figure out how I can do laundry at school, I'll be set.

This school living has been providing me the kind of graduate school experience that I had wanted. I'm always in my studio, around my work, and most importantly, around other minds to tap. I have a small studio in the sculpture department, (a good 20 minute walk away), and had rarely spent time there due to its isolation and air quality. I now have a small space in the painting department, well-ventilated, cooled and heated, and with lots of company. Nice to have sounding boards to bounce ideas off of, and to actually be inside the art department. I may have to fight to keep a space in the art building. I hope not.

I've been trying to figure out a way to have some official "office hours" that will be posted. I would have an open office for consultations or coffee breaks. Since I am TA'ing a class, I would actually like to talk to some of the students outside of class time and see what they are doing and why they are making their work.

These Days...

2010-02-09T14:21:00.003-10:00

I'm working on making an online exhibition, utilizing weebly to make a web page. It's an easy format. Familiar to anyone that's used blogger or facebook. Drag and drop, pick themes, add elements, etc. Will post site when done.

Some of you might have heard about my car accident a week and a half ago. I'm ok, but my car is not. I'm still on the look out for a new vehicle. If you know anyone in the San Antonio area selling a good used car, please let me know.

The accident has set my work back some. I lost some crucial tools after or during the day of the accident, it's a little hazy. I'm limited to my bus routes for transportation. Meeting people to test drive rides has been frustrating via SA via.

One of my other projects involves a lot of searching for antiquated office equipment, so the search for these has gone online, mostly to eBay. It has actually proved successful, almost everything I need is in the mail and on the way. It just is costing me more, but at least I can find almost anything I want...

Except I still need:

(1) steel 1960's-ish office desk with or without drawers,.

(2) swivel office chairs, on wheels; looking something like that era as well. If you have these, or know where to get things of this sort please let me know.

I also need crowd control barriers, (stanchions), like the ones you see at banks; two posts with velvet rope. I've located a dealer that sells those cheap, but I would prefer to rent or borrow those. Any leads, I would be much appreciative.

And all of this is difficult on foot and bus. But it's not so bad. I catch up on reading and lots of NPR while riding the bus. It's nice to decompress after long days with a relaxing ride home.

This recent project will be featured at the Blue Star Contemporary Art Center, opening next month. The performances will be First Thursday and First Friday, possible for April as well. After that, documentation in the forms of typewritten messages and a short video along with my staged office will remain in the gallery. I'll be shooting the work somehow, hopefully with help of others. I hope to learn more about Final Cut and edit the footage down. I'd like to make something really slick looking, but as long as it's clean and easily read, I just need a short clip to play in the gallery to give some insight to what had previously transpired.

Also on the plate. I've been working with images from others, namely their social networking images. This has become the "sample source" of a new series that is slowly moving on. I won't say too much about this, maybe some images as they start to surface.

Other considerations:

Is a "take away" receipt or souvenir important in my gallery piece? (This would be in shape of a carbon copy of a message, somehow maybe "authenticated" by me.)

If I invited you to sit down and type me a letter or line, then I'll type back, what would you say? Would these kinds of conversations take the form of old letters, or the more recent nonsense banter that is found on twitter?

What do we really have to say?

I hope to slow down the process, and make conversation something more substantial and meaningful. But will this work out for most of the time while in a First Friday setting? Or will messages be like "Dude, they have free beer and food here..." "College..."

How do I deal with questions? Hard questions, bad questions, questions with really obvious answers.

Can I handle typing non stop for four to five hours?

Should I take contact information? Should I give out my contact information? Or should this be kept strictly as the work in the gallery, being the work? If you weren't there, you missed it?

Ok. Back to work. More later.

New Media Ideas

2010-02-01T16:59:00.002-10:00

(Once again, I'll be posting in here as part of my New Media class. Hope not to bore you too much. Feedback is always welcome.)

Some ideas.

One project will be to get the website up and running. And nice. I've put this off so many years, so I decided the way I would finally get this done is to make it a part of my curriculum and be graded on it. Now I have to do it. I guess this will be a part of the general class plan, I have a few more ideas.

I am one of the artists featured in the Contemporary Arts Month exhibition at Blue Star. I will be doing a performance piece that will need documentation. I have been kicking the idea around to hire someone to film and edit this, or I might do this myself with the help of some others to shoot. This could be a welcome course in Final Cut. I would need to edit the piece down to a short segment, to then be looped on a monitor that would remain at the gallery space, giving insight to the performed work, as only somewhat cryptic evidence will remain to be seen. I am not sure that I can get this turned around in time, I would have to do this the weekend after the opening, and get the disc to the gallery as soon as I can. A professional team might be better at handling this, and the results will look nicer. But who knows, it could be fun.

Idea two would be either another video piece, we'll see if the first one comes to life, and what spawns from it. Or a sound piece. I've been itching to get back to some sound work and performances. Now the tools are all laid out in front of me at school, it's perfect. But what to do? I have just received an Arduino microprocessor in the mail and I have been reading a book on simple programming. I'm not sure how this will come into play, maybe not even for this class, but it's a great tool to work out ideas and make things happen with. I need to research again some sound artists, and revisit where I was going with this during my last year of undergraduate work. Back then, I played sheets of steel, wineglasses, and bronze sprue trees for live performances. I recently did a performance before I left Honolulu where I played a composition consisting of participant's voices reading my artist statements. These were mixed from audio, each statement was on an analogue cassette tape, I used four tape recorders to play them back through a mixer. There's something more I can do with this.

More ideas to come.

Semester...

2009-12-01T10:21:00.009-10:00

The semester is winding down. I have one more critique, well, two days of them. And one paper. And then a strange decompression period. Strange because this city still feels new to me. How to decompress in a strange place that is not quite "home" yet? I'll find thrift stores. And nature. Anyhow.

The portrait project has been an adventure. I have to pick up most the rest of the portraits this week. I might take some photos with Santa if he's at the mall. Or if the lines aren't so bad.

I got really lucky with the first batch of portraits I took one weekend. It didn't seem to take long to find someone, or a couple to take to JC Penney to stand in for family members. Then somehow the last half of the portraits just dragged. I was striking out a many times and had to cancel a bunch of appointments. I did manage to get the family responsible for my fellowship to appear in a portrait with me. I was a little nervous about asking them, but we had lunch and they were really friendly people, and also open about their experiences with art. I told them that it would be perfect, we were almost strangers, and they were responsible for my being here in San Antonio. They couldn't refuse. They had a real good time with it, got all dressed up and even pretended to be my mom and dad at the shoot. Good times.

What am I learning from these past projects? Where am I going? How is this art? What do you care?

I am learning to navigate in a new city, under new contexts, in an academic setting, with people that I don't know and don't know me. I have kept a few working "tools", like my use of recordings and static image slideshows, but for the most part, I've ditched most my methods in search for new ideas. (I was reflecting on this earlier tonight, and I felt I was too staunch in this approach, and I hope to get back to some use of material soon. Maybe not material-based, but utilizing some material and technology for some experiments. More on this later.) I really do not like putting together slideshows with audio now. Editing audio is time consuming, but I dislike it mostly because I have to listen to events, in this case conversations, over and over again. It's maddening. A lot of these conversations, I was happy to get out of. Initially, revisiting them and recontextualizing them brings out either joy or absurdity, both interesting. But upon listening again and again while adjusting EQ levels and fades, it can drive you mad. You find rhythms, cadences, but most of all, you keep reliving that event in some sense.

I like the direction the portraits had taken me. Maybe I'm not finished with this one. But I need to find a new way to work with it. It became really stressful to find people within a certain time frame, usually about 20-30 minutes before the appointment, as no one wanted to wait around that long to shoot with me. (Although one group hung out with me for an hour after my appointment was moved.) I had an additional 10 minutes window after my appointment before it was cancelled. And finally, being at the mall for all those hours. (I would usually show up an hour or so early to try to feel the mall out, get a sense of who was shopping at that particular time and see who I could approach.) I didn't like how I became judgmental toward people toward the end. Maybe that worked against me. After being turned down by so many people, you kind of get a feeling for who will and who won't take a portrait with you. That said however, I still have this strange belief that my initial naivety and wonder in approaching people on the first few tries showed through and people maybe responded because of that. And there were some days I was not into it at all, and people can tell. Though I worked through a few of those days and got some results, I have to attribute some of this to my ability to fake a good mood, but mostly also my participant's curiosity.

I didn't really answer the question of where I'm going from here. I guess I'm not sure. And that's exactly why I have come back to school. I'm trying to approach this as the bright-eyed undergrad I was some years ago, just eager to make something; not to make just things, but to make myself and maybe others think and interact. I'm having to work through a lot of cynicism that rubbed off on me, but I feel hopeful most days. I have learned that if you show people sincere honesty, they know it and open up to you. If you show people excitement, sometimes they get excited too. If you show people that you have a kind of bewilderment and wonder, you can allow them to wonder too.

Is this art? I'm recontextualizing common-place situations. Highlighting or "bracketing off" my daily experiences. Pulling people and myself out of our normal routines and in the process, and connecting in a very basic way. Sometimes I have evidence of this I can show others. Sometimes the moment is all that matters to me. Sometimes it is lonely. Sometimes this is ridiculous fun. This sounds about right to me. I'm not totally comfortable some of this work yet. And I don't know quite where it is going. I'm in a place right now where I can experiment and not fear failure so much. I'm on the right track if I come up with more questions than answers, and get led to new paths to explore.

And I hope you care. Or at least enjoy this journey somewhat.

Pushing

2009-11-21T20:34:00.003-10:00

If you read a comment on the last post, it was about me being in the middle of things figuring the work out, all at once. My last projects have been like this, and I don't know much of my work that hasn't been, Working with familiar material objects, you can have a preset notion of how your piece will finalize. This work on the other hand, I had an idea, and I have a notion that I can go through with it, but I am relying so much on input and participation from others that I leave so much open. Just finding a participant is really up to chance.

I hit two malls today, at pre-Thanksgiving prime time. It was awful. Dead malls are bad. It's hard to find anyone. Crowded malls are terrible as well, there's a general pandemonium and stress it seems. Everyone is there looking, rushing, trying to get something before someone else does. Malls in general are a horrible place to be. Today was strikeout after strike out. But at the last minute, I found some great people. The thing is working at prime time, the portrait studios are crowded and appointments get pushed back due to the nuances of working with small children. I guess the studios should really compensate for this and assign longer sessions to families with small children. Anyhow, I was pushed back over an hour in each case, and kept one couple waiting for at least half and hour and I felt terrible. They were good sports though, really wonderful people. The second group I worked with went a little smoother. It just gives me knots and headaches keeping people waiting around with me. I hope that in the end, they felt the time they had given up was worth it. I hope they feel I shared some kind of good experience with them.

I'm gaining an understanding of what kinds of people I can approach, which makes me a little disappointed. At first, I was approaching almost everyone, knowing well that certain people would react negatively. But today, I kept more conservative, saving my energy and pride some. I'm disappointed because at the onset, the project made me challenge my own prejudices of people. Though what I'm dealing with now are not prejudices based really on skin tone or sex, it's more about demeanor. I have asked all kinds of people across the board to join me in a family portrait. Most of those that do are generally younger, outgoing, social people. Of course. I have asked loners in the mall, even ones with an obvious lack of social skills. Those are the ones I would like to include. But I haven't been able to convince one yet. I'm ok with that. It's quite a bridge to gap to get someone out of their routine and have faith in some stranger. I try as much as I can to show them that I'm putting faith in them, and one person has brought that up to my attention.

Anyhow. It's been another adventure today. I had setbacks all throughout. But in the end, at both shoots, I got to share stories with some good people. I know that has been the goal of my work for the last year. This time though, we have ridiculous portraits to tell the story of our chance meeting at the mall.

Portraits

2009-11-19T19:08:00.003-10:00

The new project is on a good trajectory. I'm shooting for at least four more shoots. I don't have digital images of these shots, but I will scan them soon and hopefully post.

I met with the family responsible for my fellowship today. Good people. I convinced them to stand in for family tomorrow.

Are there rules for this piece? How much of a stranger does one have to be? I like the feeling that these portraits a are result of a chance encounter. I was able to convince someone that half an hour out of their day would be worth giving in return for a new experience.

These mall encounters can be magical when they work out, maybe 19 times out of 20, the answer is no. And some days finding 20 people is difficult. I basically have to set up and appointment, hit the mall and try to find someone within an hour gap. For the most part, they've worked out at the last minute. I've had some takers, but then when told the appointment was in forty minutes, they had to go. "When is this?" "It's right now, let's go." That somehow works. I guess it's the whole spontaneity of it. And people have things to do. Or think they do. But some people just cruise the malls window shopping or people watching. There are definitely hours for this that I am still figuring out, I feel like it doesn't work out with my school schedule.

I did hear back from someone I had contacted through craigslist some time back. She is an exchange student from Japan looking to for people to speak English with. I will try to meet her on Saturday and see if she would like to be included in this project. These two inclusions feel natural to me, as the family is supportive, yet completely foreign to me. The exchange student is just pixels on a page right now, and I haven't told her about the project yet. I'm thinking I'll make my offer over coffee. If it's a no go, I'll head to the mall anyway to shoot. It might be better to actually have ready participants for the shoot, as I've had to cancel a handful of shoots because I just couldn't find anyone on that day. The timing is really tricky. It seems like I have to rely on luck and serendipity somehow. One of my participants said that I'm really putting faith in people, and I absolutely agreed with him. I told him that I tell people everything about myself, my work, and give my contact info. I leave up a lot up to chance, that they'll take me on, or even if I will meet anyone that day.

The days that do work out, in hindsight are awesome. Well, even after, I feel accomplished, and tired. I mention hindsight because spending hours in the mall leaves me disoriented and headachy. Driving to the mall, finding parking, and then trying to get hyped up to approach people that really, for the most part, don't want contact, is a battle. Every time. But really, maybe we do want contact. If someone came up to me, offered something of a similar divergence from the usual day and encounters, would I take it? I would. I probably would challenge them, and try to push their piece further somewhere.

Am I giving something? Am I taking something? What is the exchange? Can art change public discourse? IS art public discourse?

This has so far been quite an exchange. On a basic level, I receive source material. But it's more than that. There is the residual picture, the hilarious family portrait that documents our time together. There's also the memories of the event itself, the actions and interactions that to me, are the essential work. I really do like that there is a concrete piece that I can share with more people, a piece that actually sums up well the process. And they are funny.

The last exchange I had really solidified what I was doing. The participant said that I had pulled him out of his everyday routine and made him look at things differently. We shared a good time, a really positive experience, partly because the event was ridiculous fun, but also because we made a connection. He mentioned that we don't connect with one another besides facebook and whatever, and he really appreciated that I was taking a chance to do something small to make someone think about these things, and that maybe these little events would be passed on in the form of trying to connect more others. He summed it up. He lives in Austin, and told me he'd be my host there anytime. Another participant invited me to his family's Thanksgiving dinner. So amazing!

I told someone that I really have to believe that for the most part, people are not only good, but want a connection, and want to relate somehow with others. And though attempts don't always go well and I have unfruitful days and bad headaches, I have been shown genuine kindness by strangers; strangers that took another stranger for their word and gave him a chance, and then reciprocated and are willing to share more.

Death of Nabe

2009-11-15T20:25:00.015-10:00

(This just came up. Probably because I miss it.)

Nabe is not necessarily dead to me. The project I had created and ran with is long over. Within that time, nabe became a new entity. It was already the vehicle for discourse, but turning it into my work made it, well, strange.

On a more gastronomic level, the nabe I had made is not what I enjoy eating. Maybe it was because I was cooking and had no time to enjoy the flavors. There were often too many variables that I relied on to get the dish right. I stressed over little things, and maybe over looked the metaphor I was trying to or had to created.

In an earlier text I wrote:

"Perfect foods are ones like donburi and migas. A rich and salty amalgamation of proteins, thrown over or mixed with starch of good texture. That's genius. Nabe is not. It's cold. Tempermental. Overly complicated. It lacks an immediate unity. Only in metaphor is it unifying and warm. It's salvation is its birth of zossui at its death. Ironically by then, the palette is already over-stimulated, all needs satiated, the belly full..."

I was being a bit cynical and scientific.

Maybe it's nostalgia. My attempts were at recreating my grandmother's nabe, which my recipe culls from but takes in another direction. It is of course, not the food, but the memory that I'm trying to re-enact. In my project, I created new memories. Still, maybe I was just trying to get back my old ones. I had overcomplicated the simple dish. Did I make my own rules and ritual to take the place of relationships? I'm not sure.

Chefs eat between courses, nibling on remnants and sub-par morsels. They are constantly concerned with technical details of temperature, time, color, composition, etc.. They must feel the mood of the crowd, and adjust to it accordingly. It's maybe analogous to a dj: at once a part of the group and interacting, yet also separated from the whole, making minute decisions that can affect the total experience. At least that's how I felt making nabe.

Nabe is much like all other dishes. It is much better when made by another and served to you.

The Practice

2009-11-09T20:27:00.002-10:00

I was confronted with a question today about my work. About myself really. If I am comfortable meeting and talking to anyone. I guess I am. I always have been able to talk to people. But there have been long periods in my life where I have been scared to. Really scared. Living in your head is so horrible. Thinking the worst of every situation, making assumptions that every question to anyone will yield negative consequences. I often return to this place. Maybe the recent work is my subconscious battle to stay alive here in San Antonio. I know meeting and talking with more people, I make more sense of things, and feel better somehow. Maybe it all comes down to knowing that for the most part, we're all the same and have similar desires. Or not. People I've met recently, we're entirely on different pages. Academic discourse versus material pleasures. Well, essentially, we all want to avoid pain as much as we can, and seek to reproduce somehow, or pursue the acts of; in non-sexual terms maybe it is the living on through one's work and achievements. (I would like to quote here front man for Big Island Conspiracy in his many sermons between songs: "Eh, we all da same. I like da same 'tings as you. We all like, make love, you know, oof, and drink beer...")

All those times I had been silent while growing up, I've come to learn that I was studying people. I noticed little things like speech patterns, relations between their group members, a lot of unspoken dialect. It's not like I can pin down certain traits and actions of people and make a profile of their character. But I think I can get an alright feel of someone from a brief conversation of some sort, where we're both talking about the same subject.

I do know this: we all like to eat.

More later.

Portraits

2009-11-07T20:27:00.002-10:00

(some quick notes...)

I've taken family type portraits with two groups of people, a couple of two women, and two men. One was lined up and ready, but we had delays at the photo studio, and he had to leave to pick up his girlfriend. In both cases, I got extra portraits to send to the participants. I bought them something to eat after as well.

Approaching people at the mall is not so bad. Seems like I'm batting a good average; well, it's been two days on this and I have two portraits. Been rejected a bunch. But nicely for the most part. I have another scheduled sitting tomorrow afternoon.

I would like to get some older folk. I asked a good number today, all said no. But laughed. Camera shy I guess. Maybe a generational thing? I would like some people my parents age, and even my grandparents age if possible.

It's interesting the interaction while looking at pictures, or deciding what kind of poses to take. So far, others have taken ownership of the process somewhat, in decisions of poses to do and what photos to print. This has become my favorite part as of yet.

What is this work about? What do family portraits say? How do you define family? How important are the subjects? How important is the photographer?

Recently

2009-11-03T21:45:00.002-10:00

I've been reticent about writing in here. This blog has become opened to my class, and part of my grade depends on my participation in this discussion here. It's strange, I know people from all over have read earlier entries, commented, and I've even met some because of their comments. I guess working close with the community in Honolulu was so tied to my work. Here, I have no community ties. No family. A few friends, but not long time confidants. What has happened is I have pulled back. It's nice to be anonymous. No one knows my previous work, it's a good place to start over. Yet, I keep reaching for that kind of relationships with people. Maybe I expected to find similar kinds of connections with people in San Antonio, yet I have not. It's a different demographic here; whereas in Hawai'i, I can be seen as non-threatening; maybe it's different here. (I don't think I'm threatening at all.) Still, I'm not sure where my work is going here. Which is fine for the most part, as I welcome the new and unknown. But I have deadlines and need to produce something. And it's become difficult dealing with people, and relying on them for source material. Sometimes they don't come through. Actually, most times they don't come through.

Maybe because of the open nature of this blog I don't want to talk about recent ideas and projects. Would someone steal it? Doubt it. I should be more open to criticism, as I had been during the ActionFunTimeUrbanSurvivalism campaign. (My spellcheck recognizes that word.) I have gone back to some previous ideas of using phone booths. I have found at least one in SA from sources on craigslist. What to do there. I'm trying to find participants for another project involving taking "family" type portraits. I might approach strangers at the mall and see if they would like to join me. I need a surrogate family, since I have none here. I thought it would be fun to pose with people I don't know, and they could fulfill the roles that I miss. I'm predicting it will be difficult to find participants willing the time. Mall kids are always around. I'll offer a meal in exchange, or maybe even cash. I'll feel it out. I may contact some previous people I met on CL. Props. Hats. I have fun hats. And all those strange props at the photo studio, like rocks and toys.

Anyhow. Time to finish a presentation. More later.

Dos and Don'ts of Studio Visits

2009-10-21T09:46:00.003-10:00

(This post is for one of my classes.)

Things I gathered from this workshop:

This workshop featured two speakers: Kimberly Aubuchon from Studio B Gallery, and Donna Simon from Seeing Art in San Antonio.

A main point of their talk was to research the curator that you will be meeting with. Look at their past shows, see how your work may or may not fit in. Also get to know some personal things about the curator as well. Are they a practicing artist as well? Maybe get some information on where they went to school or grew up. These bits of information may help facilitate better conversation.

Show your most current work, not a retrospective of everything you have done. Keep the showing tight and concise. You may show the work that they are familiar with, or that will be for a specific show, but also may want to show them a body that is in another direction.

Clean your studio, but don't keep it too clean. The studio should provide some kind of evidence of work and especially of process and technique. What's important is a record of your thought process, what got you where.

Have a prepared edited portfolio that you can give to your visitor. Include a disc of images, CV, bio, and a statement. This can be breif, and not your entire portfolio, even a small flat folder will be fine.

Make connections with the galleries you submit to. Learn the curators names.

Make your submissions specific to the gallery you are submitting to. Edit your images. What sizes of pieces will fit in the gallery? Who is their audience? What kind of work do they show?

Keep records of the galleries you visit and talk to. You may send a thank you letter to your studio visitor. These two prefer a hand-written note.

Don't talk about the negatives of the art world. Stop dwelling on the past. Be on time, be cordial. Serve a refreshment or two. Maybe beer.

Overall, the workshop was fairly informative and entertaining. Though I thought some things were common sense, like being there on time, and not having rotting food in your studio, the speakers told a different story.

San Antonio Current

2009-10-08T20:24:00.002-10:00

Read about my rabbit grilling with Frenchie:

http://www.sacurrent.com/dining/review.asp?rid=13965

Rabbit does taste like chicken. Sort of.

2009-10-07T08:21:00.001-10:00

Test...

And on and on

2009-10-03T13:10:00.002-10:00

This new project, that I have yet to really totally define, has taken me on a few detours and re-routes. I've been to group therapy and AA meetings. I've seen a faith healer. I've driven far to get "Hawaiian Shaved Ice." Some have let to real human connections. A few have made me depressed about life.

It's been hard to actually meet someone on CraigsList that are looking for just a friend. Though I think I have managed maybe two. Out of all of those "strictly platonic" encounters, maybe ten percent really are looking for someone to just hang out with. Others, looking for buddies to watch porn with, or maybe looking for something more, but just a friendship first. Which is fin I guess, but I point back to the category that states "STRICTLY" platonic. Whatever. I can't be upset, there are others out there trying to make some real connections besides me. Their connections though, are just not what I'm looking for. Still, I hope I can make a few, even if there is the subtext of a sexual encounter underlying our meetings.

the project

2009-09-14T19:36:00.002-10:00

I've posted a few ads in CraigsList about the project. One in the art section, one under activities. I was losing hope after some time had past, but two responses came in this afternoon.

In the mean time I had been looking through other venues to talk with others. I was looking under "Strictly Platonic" men seeking men. A good percentage of listings were not looking for platonic relationships. I emailed a few people about playing video games, going for a beer, watching television, etc. I've never done this before in my life. I don't give out much information. So far responses have been friendly to challenging. It's quite a challenge to meet new people, or at least the new people that you would want to be around. Then again, I really to have faith in people, that for the most part, we are all good. My personal security will be in question. Before meeting anyone, I will post in a few places my whereabouts and times. I can even live update given this technology.

This new work will force me to judge characters using only emails, texts, and phone conversations. This is all a process, and yet I still have other goals in mind, to actually meet decent, or at least not so threatening people, get past the meeting, and make a real connection. Still, all this groundwork has become something in itself. I can't quite figure out yet what it is, but it is definitely involving hours behind a screen that separates us. So in essence, I've become the part of the person looking to make a friend. Which, essentially, I am. I guess the only difference is that I put this in an art context, documenting and analyzing my work. But the connections are real. I'm not adopting a persona or character. Maybe others are. That's yet to be determined, and may makes things even more interesting.

More to come.

Recordings

2009-09-10T18:40:00.003-10:00

I checked out a digital recorder from school. I bought a few lavalier mics and all sorts of adapters and cords. My floor is a mess of nerdiness, AV Club style.

I'll set out and try to capture what I experience tomorrow. We'll see what this day brings.

Changes

2009-09-08T23:18:00.002-10:00

This blog started out as a somewhat live document of my ActionFunUrbanSurivialism project. Time flies. I am in San Antonio these days, starting my education again. I will be using this blog for a new media class, helping to formulate ideas.

I was resistant somewhat to the idea of using this blog for class. I thought about making a new one entirely. There's sort of a feeling about new beginnings. But, new friends in San Antonio can read about my past projects, and all you in Honolulu can see what I'm up to these days.

I'll have to start using my camera again. It's been way too convenient to take snap shots with my phone and load directly to facebook. Iphones take the strangest pictures, they're the new polaroid.

San Antonio

2009-08-23T20:01:00.002-10:00

The last months have been a blur of work and performance prepping and moving. I have found myself in a new city, with a new place, with new friends and neighbors, and soon, a new school. I guess this is a new start. Where does my work go from here?

It's hitting triple digits here. The heat feels different, it's dry. Like opening an oven. My hair feels lighter, and less of a mess. My skin has dried out, but I am starting to gain some moisture back. Diet wise, I've been eating like the locals: Tex-mex, tacos, Texas BBQ, and horrible fast food on the trips out of my area when I'm lost and confused from low blood sugar. Everything is sweet, salty and spicy here. I don't mind the spicy, but the saltiness is getting old.

I have a nabe pot in the mail on the way. I'll find a propane stove. And ingredients. And figure out how to make nabe here. I had some Mexican fish soup the other day and didn't care much for it. I'm going to try menudo sooner or later.

I had pho tonight. Broth was oily, rich and much saltier than I'm used to; or maybe what Hawai'i people are used to. Beef came in thick fatty cuts. I'm assuming all of this caters to the Texan taste. There was no basil, but lots and lots of Chinese parsley. Still, herby hot soup always makes me smile.

I'm going to try to update more often. It will help to keep my thoughts organized. Pictures are time consuming loading on here, see my daily pictures on facebook.com/matkubo. All you in Hawai'i and all over, I miss you. Much love.

Been away

2009-06-29T20:54:00.002-10:00

I sort of promised people I would update more often. And then there's facebook. This seems to be a more intimate connection, if we can call it that. I put things out, and I have no idea who reads them. But there aren't all these ways to interact with little games and quizzes and whatever. And I like that. On occaision, someone will leave a note. And that's nice. It's also nice to be able to write more than 140 characters. Still really, am I just telling you about my day? Maybe. (I dropped the kids off, went to church, picking up the kids...) Really, do we really need to be that connected? Before phones, we just did things. We set times, met, and acted. There was none of this pseudo bs meta commentary on what we're doing while we're doing it.

Maybe I'll go back to writing postcards. And sending them. Randomly. Carrier pidgeons. Tin cans and twine. I still want to do something with phonebooths.

XOXOXO.

Mixed Plate!

2009-06-17T21:19:00.004-10:00

Ok, who's really home to watch the news? Not me.

Watch Pamela Young's Mixed Plate segment featuring Cook For Me Cook For You here:

NabeMixedPlate!

Hope you are all doing well. Much love.

nabe is forever

2009-06-14T20:43:00.000-10:00

I had nabe with Pamela Young this morning at The Contemporary Museum. This will air Tuesday June 16, at 6:00pm KITV 4 news, as part of her "Mixed Plate" series. Check it. I hope I don't look too silly.

Thank you!

2009-06-07T19:42:00.001-10:00

Thank you everyone for coming out to TCM yesterday for nabe. The event couldn't have been on a more beautiful day. Nabe, overlooking Honolulu, can't complain. Thanks again.

Mat.

Nabe at The Contemporary Museum...

2009-06-04T20:34:00.004-10:00

Hey Good People,

There's a little confusion, on my part. Ok, if you would like to have public nabe with me at The Contemporary Museum, please call Inger Tully, at 808-237-5215 to RSVP.

Hope to see you. We'll have nabe, make friends. You can ask me all the hard questions you want. Maybe I won't have an answer, but I'll have some hot nabe in a bowl for you.

Mat Kubo.

Nabe at The Contemporary Museum

2009-06-01T16:57:00.002-10:00

Hey there,

I'm having another nabe event at The Contemporary Museum this Saturday, around 12:30, and lasting for about two hours. I'll have seats for ten people, but last time I did this people came and went. Call 808.526.1322 to make reservations, or just show up. If you are 20-29, entry is free. If not, call me and I can probably get you in somehow.

This is in conjunction with the 20 Going On 21 exhibition that runs until June 21.

Someone out there had contacted me about having nabe. I've been trying to reach you, but I always get the "the subscriber you are trying to reach is not available or out of the service area" message. If this is you, call me: 808.554.3615. I hope you can make it to the nabe event this Saturday. You had asked me some insightful questions, and it would be great to make that a part of the larger discourse.

It seems too hot to make nabe right now.

Hope you all are enjoying summer.

Nabe!

2009-05-28T03:52:00.001-10:00

Jolene Oshiro wrote a fantastic piece about my nabe adventures.

http://www.starbulletin.com/features/Nabe_A_social_experiment.html

Sometime, somewhere in the bigsky.

2009-05-13T23:27:00.002-10:00

Lone Star

2009-05-11T22:58:00.004-10:00

Final decisions have been made. I'm going to the University of Texas, San Antonio for my MFA. I was accepted to California College of Arts and Massachusetts College of Art and Design as well, but UTSA offered me a fellowship I could not refuse.

I'm going to get a pick up. Maybe a shotgun.

Places

2009-05-11T09:15:00.002-10:00

I love Kaimuki.

Updates

2009-05-08T11:30:00.003-10:00

So some random photos from the months past.

Rich Richardson got some strange kind of magic in his hands. We were trying to find San Antonio on the globe.

AV Club of Honolulu had another performance of "Text Message" at Kapiolani Community College. The kids kept us busy. Hard topics to try to translate into very unergonomic 1980's obsoletisms.

Favorite things.

I had a nabe event at The Contemporary Museum. I had to run two pots for 15+ people. Like dj'ing nabe. Good times. I made new friends and shared recipes and stories.

Do you get an email, or some kind of update if I write here? I don't know how those kinds of things work.

Good Friday!

Opening the blog again

2009-05-07T18:29:00.002-10:00

I've been debating if I should open this blog back up. It was originally made for documenting the ActionFunUrbanSurvivalism project. But maybe I can use it.

I can write longer messages, more pictures, than say facebook or twitter. Of course, you will have to work harder, actually load another page. Read more. Sift. Maybe even leave a comment that will not have the kind of instant feedback and gratification as those other sources.

Maybe I will have to change the title.

Thoughts?

I need to start another project.

Exhibit at The Contemporary Museum up

2009-03-30T22:13:00.002-10:00

Hello Friends,

I am humbly a part of The Contemporary Museum's "20 Going on 21" exhibition. My installation features slideshows and audio of some of my shared meals with people. Most of the participants I have met via this blog, or past projects.

A few Sundays ago I had a nabe event at TCM. I had space for ten seats, but participants flowed around and cycled as the event ran. It was a fantastic time.

The exhibition runs until June 21. If you are under 30, admission is free.

I will cook for you! Seriously.

2009-01-21T19:01:00.002-10:00

I will be exhibiting documentation of some of the meals that I have shared with people during the course of this project. I have conducted some so far, even been invited to one of you reader's home, and the experiences have been absolutely fantastic.

I would love for you to join me in this. This project has already grown in in directions I could not have predicted. Please join me, be a part of this, and this will become ours. Contact me through a comment, email, or call:

matkubo@gmail.com

808.554.3615

NabeAction!

2008-10-11T13:47:00.001-10:00

I'm making nabe with some good people I've recently met from the last project. Tonight is the first run of this. Should be pretty fun.

More later!

Back!

2008-10-10T09:03:00.002-10:00

Hey there. It's been a while. Too long!

It's beginning! The new project is underway. On Saturday, I will cook nabe with some great people that I met from the last project, mostly from here on the blog.

If you want to participate, call me. Don't think twice about it, just call. I love to make nabe and okonomiyaki. We'll cook and have a fantastic time!

Mat

808.554.3615

matkubo@gmail.com

The New Campaign

2008-09-06T11:07:00.003-10:00

I'm starting up a new project, spinning off somewhat from ActionFunUrbanSurvivalism. Contact me if you want to participate/collaborate with me. Here's the details. (Click on the postcards to see them in larger format.) Much love to you all.

It's Been Some Time

2008-09-02T22:18:00.002-10:00

I don' t know if it's still valid to post here. But I feel like I've been away. And I miss all of you that frequent here.

So much has happened since last posting. I'm having problems with space on my hard drive. But I will have some images coming soon.

Bon dances. McKinley High School career day. Random moments with random people who have become friends.

Life has been harsh, but I can appreciate the beauty. I thank everyone out there reading this. And much love and praises to all who interact with me.

Talk to you all soon.

Work

2008-08-21T08:27:00.001-10:00

I work odd jobs. Contract labor. I'm looking for more steady work. Does anyone out there have any leads?

I thank you for reading. Much love.

The Dove

2008-08-20T20:15:00.003-10:00

There was this dove that was always in the tomato vines. I thought maybe he liked to hang out there, for the shade or whatever. I realized that he was eating all the baby tomatoes, as well as the few strawberries that fruit in a small patch. I shot him. Right through the head. I felt a little bad, so I decided not to let his body go to waste; I was fattening up this bird anyway.

I brought out the propane pot.

Feathered and gutted.

Here's the poor dove's head. At least it was a quick exit.

Marinated in balsamic vinegar, rosemary, olive oil, salt, and pepper.

And that was the most toughest bird I've ever eaten. Probably a really old dove. I should have made soup, or marinated in green papayas. Still, it's satisfying eating something I bagged that day. Especially something that has been eating all our tomatoes.

Recently...

2008-08-18T23:16:00.004-10:00

I've been away from here for so long, and I apologize to those to check back here looking for new material. I thought maybe this blog was to be strictly for the project, but it's so meshed in with the rest of my life, I see no reason to not continue. So much has happened since the last post. People have moved. My life has reverted back to normal; well physically, but otherwise not. I'm searching. Where can I take this experience next? How can I continue this project?

In the meantime, here's some fun things.

I was given a broccoli lei by someone very special. "Broccolei" I have named it.

Broccolei was very heavy. But edible! So much better than those candy leis. And even those alcoholeis. These are two things I tend to eat the most of actually: raw broccoli and raw garlic.

Soon, she will be lei master.

With Ancestors

2008-08-09T11:12:00.004-10:00

Here's some of what I did this weekend. It was beautiful.

Pushing out the bad.

Sometimes I get these from Don Quixote or Shirokiya. But they never char the outsides enough like this. And they're much better in the presence of ancestors.

Praises

2008-08-09T01:25:00.002-10:00

This week has been amazing.

I send out thank you's. And people are appreciative of thank you's. Which is mind-boggling somewhat.

It's Obon season.

I have some pictures coming soon.

Thank you everyone for reading and participating. And thank you to all the new faces I've met in recent days. Thank you for your interest, questions, and sincerity.

See you soon.

Thank You!

2008-08-06T09:28:00.003-10:00

The blog has been getting so many hits this week. I've been getting emails from lots of supportive Hawai'i and off-island people as well. I just wanted to say thanks! Because without your support, this project would not exist. Without your input, it would just be me out in the field looking for food and going hungry. We can do so much with this kind of community collaboration.

I'm thinking about moving on to a new development, the ideas coming directly out of this project. I'm still brainstorming, but it would involve you, me, and probably food. Would you like to collaborate? Contact me and we'll talk story sometime.

Many thanks. Much love.

The Statement

2008-08-04T10:14:00.003-10:00

I posted this statement in the gallery to accompany the installation:

Mat Kubo
ActionFunUrbanSurvivalism
2008

From June 26th to July 14th, I embarked on an experiment/performance piece in which I pulled myself away from normal means of acquisition of sustenance. I consumed only what I could hunt, gather, glean, and trade. Suddenly, my perspective changed and I began to notice so many little details that I had previously overlooked. I started by riding a bike around my neighborhood, searching for houses with fruit trees. I was curious about what I could find and whom I would meet around the next street corner. I talked to many people who had bountiful trees and asked if I could pick their fruit. In exchange, I offered what I harvested from my yard: lemons, bay leaves, basil, papayas, and mountain apples. Most people did not hesitate a moment to offer what they had; mangoes, lychee, citrus fruits were all abundant. When I offered to “trade” what I had for their goods, most looked at me strangely as if they’ve never heard of that word. I realized that the old culture of Hawai’i is all about sharing what you have, not necessarily trading. These beliefs are still rooted in the people of old neighborhoods and passed on to the next generations. I’ve come to figure out that these are the kinds of beliefs that build community. And also sharing of not just tangible goods, but experiences and stories. The most beautiful work that came out of this project were the encounters with the people I met, talking to them about the project, and sharing ideas about how O’ahu could be a more sustainable place to live. And simply just talking story with an old woman in a neighborhood she lived in for decades, hearing her records of the place and the good times she had growing up. I intend to keep in touch with people I have met along this journey and continue our sharing.

It was these connections that came to the forefront of this project and my personal quest to eat enough to sustain myself became secondary. And as I met more people, the process became easier. I began to acquire a surplus of food, and I wasn’t hungry or losing weight any longer. I realized I really could survive this test. It’s not a difficult thing to do. I realize that living off the land in urban Honolulu may be impossible, but there are more possibilities of homegrown and shared goods than I had previously thought.

Another aspect to survival that became apparent; the way we need each other to survive. Not just to nourish the body, but our social human nature, our souls. These are the kinds of connections and relationships we need to forge and nurture if we intend to sustain ourselves here in Hawai’i. Talk story with each other. Cook meals and eat together. Share all you can with one another. This is so simple and pure. Yet so absolutely vital for our survival.

Special thanks:
The ARTS at Marks Garage
Hawai’i Arts Alliance
Rich Richardson
Helen Yum
Michael Nakasone
Lesa Griffith
Alan Konishi
Michael Sweitzer

And all my new friends and contributors who I’ve met on the road. Thank you for sharing your lives with me.

The Advertiser Article

2008-08-04T09:25:00.002-10:00

The Honolulu Advertiser ran an article about the project today in its Island Life section. It's crazy to see this in print. But if you don't like to waste paper, you can view the article here.

Many thanks to writer Mary Kay Ritz and photographer Rebecca Breyer.

Some Images from Eco/Logic Installation

2008-08-02T23:25:00.002-10:00

Here's what the installation at The ARTS at Mark's Garage looks like. Thank you to all of those who have contributed their time, talents, and/or ideas. I couldn't have done this without your help.

First Friday

2008-08-01T13:35:00.002-10:00

Come down and check out the opening of Eco/Logic at The ARTS at Mark's Garage. See map here. I have put together an installation of documentation of this project. The entire show is really amazing and I'm so grateful to be a part of it. We'll have refreshments, including 500 pounds of watermelon from Aloo Farms.

Hope to see you there.

News Segment

2008-07-30T12:08:00.001-10:00

Here's a link to the news segment Channel Two News' Kathy Muneno did on Eco/Logic.

http://www.khon2.com/features/green/25544384.html

I hope you can get the video to play. I can't.

Eco/Logic

2008-07-29T12:54:00.003-10:00

After two days of fretting, and with the help of some fabulous people, the installation at The ARTS at Mark's Garage is finished and the Eco/Logic show is up and going. The show opened today, we will be doing the First Friday this week. Gallery hours are 11am to 6pm Tuesday through Saturday. First Friday festivities will begin at 5pm, and probably run until 9pm. Come join us if you can. Talk story. See the exploded view of my project.

The ARTS at Mark's Garage

Thank you to all who have made this possible.

Thoughts...

2008-07-26T03:19:00.001-10:00

A friend of mine was jealous somewhat of this project during my first week in, he thought I would be having all kinds of fun. I told him that this was the hardest thing I've tried to do. It's funny, he was an inspiration of sorts for this whole experiment. We would often talk about how things would be when the apocalypse comes. Or at least when Hawai'i gets cut off from continental lands. Money would be worth nothing. All the bankers and lawyers would be useless. And bike builders, like him, and welders, like me, would have to start making roving tribes. We would romanticize about hunting and gathering, building our Mad Max mobiles, and riding bikes on the freeways.

In that situation, survival wouldn't be an option. My survival plan was a test. An experiment, if you will. No clear hypothesis, but certain parameters and guides to test ideas and truths. Faced with an apocalyptic kind of situation, I'm not sure what most people would do. Some would crumble. Some would immediately take up the reins. Some would turn on each other. Some would build community.

It will be interesting. If we ever come to this. I'll get on my bike.

Missing.

2008-07-23T17:17:00.002-10:00

I'm working on getting together my documentation for the exhibition. I'm losing my damn mind. I haven't been inside for this length of time in a while.

I miss the outside. I miss you all.

Scrapping

2008-07-22T09:45:00.002-10:00

I'm making a scrapbook documenting these days. The scrapbook is taking the shape of the blog; it's basically going to be the same pictures and writings. Maybe a few out-takes and further thoughts on subjects.

An analogue-blog. "Anablogue" I'm calling it.

The digital blog is easier. But this one you can hold in your hands. Turn pages.

Adventures

2008-07-20T20:37:00.006-10:00

A few days ago, a new friend was in town. I got a chance to spend some time with him; he was at the venison gratitude dinner earlier. It's really interesting that I meet someone like him in the midst of this project that has become all about connecting with people. I'm usually a little closed off, even anti-social at times. I've become a little cynical, especially trying to make "art" here in Honolulu. But now, being immersed in an experiment where I must interact with others to survive, I've found and embraced all the best in people. I've learned to let go of a lot of things, find all the good and live. It's become really important to me to share and give all I have to those around me. I guess I've felt like this most of my life, but it's different somehow recently. I try to do as much as I can, because that's what I can and should do. I'm letting go of expectations, and embracing sharing as something very pure.

I clicked with my new found friend right away. And he quickly found a place of connection in Hawai'i. He wanted to see a waterfall, so it became a mission of mine to find one. I was thinking Sacred Falls, but I remembered that place was indefinitely closed after an accident in 1999. My sister suggested Maunawili Falls, which I had never heard of until recently. We found directions and headed off on an new adventure for the both of us.

The root of this tree was amazing. Serpentine.

Which way?

I guess you're not really supposed to swim in here. Especially if you have any open cuts. I had a few on my feet, and I also picked a scab on the hike up to the falls. But I traveled all that way and I wasn't about to let those little technicalities get in the way of jumping off the falls.

Somewhere up there is a cliff about thirty feet high. We climbed up, peeked over the edge, and jumped. My partner went first. The edge was slick with mud. He was smart and held onto a length of rope tied to a tree, stabilized himself on the ledge, and then took the plunge. I was behind him the whole time, and I wanted to avoid the ledge hesitation that you get while looking down over such heights. I waited for the pool to clear. I didn't grab the rope, and just took a walking start toward the edge and jumped. My foot didn't grip the last step as it should have, and I slipped a bit. It wasn't the jump I planned, and although I was in forward motion, the jump was halfway a slip and long fall. A little scary. But incredible. I hit the water awkwardly. Instead of hitting and breaking the surface with my feet, I hit with my feet, then legs, then my arse. Quite an impact. Some kids told me it sounded like a two by four hitting the surface of the water. It kind of felt like a two by four hitting my hind quarters. But the cold mountain water took care of the stinging. I soon climbed up another jump point and made another plunge. The experience was exhilarating. Cleansing. Renewing.

My left cheek looks like this now. No matter. It was all worth it. I had shared an adventure with a new friend. How often do those kinds of events happen? I guess more often than before for me these days.

Thank you.

Documentation

2008-07-20T20:04:00.003-10:00

I'm slowly getting back to normal life. It's hard. I miss the past three weeks so badly. There were extraordinary things that happened, all out of my usual routine.

I need to prepare how I will present this project at the gallery. I have my usual ideas of collages and suspended miscellania. Today, someone suggested a scrapbook as means of documentation of this project. Maybe so. It seems fitting somehow. But the format may be too small in a gallery setting. I've always wanted to visit the aunties at the scrapbook warehouse. But since this has been such a public project, any ideas would be welcome and fun to hear. Really. Please.

Won't Stop

2008-07-18T13:09:00.004-10:00

Today, I met with Jay Jensen at The Contemporary Museum. He had contacted me a few weeks ago offering lunch and conversation about this project.

I was too into eating, and I didn't take any pictures of our sandwiches. Eating foods like sandwiches is particularly all consuming these days. After a run of straightforward, often bland foods, layers and textures of breads, cheeses, sauces, and vegetables are pretty amazing.
The cafe staff had some nice lychees on their counter and offered us some.

Another contributor

I brought Jay lemons, basil, bay leaves, and American parsley. We talked about sharing and exchanges. He mentioned an offer of trading conversation. I told him that had an idea to try to trade a song for a beer. A server friend of mine told me to stop by his place of employment and he'll take up my offer. I have yet to stop by. I chipped my tooth on my Jew's Harp last week, and I need to find another little instrument I can do a ditty on. Maybe a kazoo. But I really should make good on this offer.

Going back, reinsertion, to regular life is hard. Connections with people have been less, often in places like convenience stores and cafes. You can't say much, just play your roles of some sort. But sometimes you can break someone out of that mudane dialog.

Can't Stop

2008-07-17T10:25:00.004-10:00

I'm figuring out some ways to keep parts of this project going. Especially the connections that I built with the people I've met. Maybe this will evolve again into something else. But right now, I'm really sad that I can't do this full-time any longer. Bills to pay. Exhibitions to prepare. These three weeks weren't long enough. Coming back to normal life is rough. I would like to do something like this for a longer time span, like three months. Maybe I should really think about what it means to come back, and how to incorporate all the things I have learned into my daily routines. I can make new routines.

I still have sam gae tang to last me a few more days. I was telling someone about the chicken: you can go up the mountain, shoot a chicken, chase it tumbling and sliding down a ravine, climb back up bloody and bruised, blanch and de-feather the chicken, pull out the chicken's innards, and boil it for hours all the while the chicken smell clings to you. Or you can go to Costco and get a prepared rotisserie chicken for six dollars. I was making a point, then they asked me if I would do it again. Hell yes. It became clear in my head that all that toil was worth every calorie spent. There's a certain kind of satisfaction in killing your own food. There is a connection there that is hard to explain, but now I know.

Today I had a contract at the Board of Water Supply vehicle maintenance department. I found all these noni and Hawaiian orange in the back of the building. The strip of land is watered and tended to somewhat, but the workers don't bother with the fruits, evidenced by all the fallen noni.

I look for fruit laden trees everywhere I go now. I can see mangoes blocks away. I won't ever buy noni extract or puree again. I'll find the fresh fruit.

I guess this won't end.

Day Twenty-One part 2

2008-07-15T20:53:00.003-10:00

Three weeks. Everyday has been a challenge, mentally and physically; often both coinciding. Everyday has been a new experience almost entirely. I've learned so much, about myself, and other people. I've learned how to approach people at their homes, in their comfort zones and engage in conversation. I've learned how to humble myself in the face of uncontrollable situations. I've learned to sometimes be fearless in my work. And force myself to recognize and face the fears I do have.

I had a lot of food left from the week's journeys. I set out today for a relaxing ride. Allow myself to enjoy this moment just a bit. I packed a bag of lemons, lemon branches, papaya, and bird of paradise and set out to give thanks to some of the people that have shown me so much generosity during this project.

I still have a pot full of Sam Gae Tang left. It's become something of a perfect breakfast treat. Medicinal. Magical. I'll make this again in the future. Maybe with wild chicken again. If you want some, let me know.

Today's bounty. I planned to start with a full basket, and return completely empty.

Somewhere along Beretania Street, I saw this older woman riding a bike, bags of bottles and cans for recycling attached to it. She wears all white, helmet, and gloves; maybe you have seen her. I immediately turned around and crossed the street and chased her down. She was the kind of survivalist I had been looking to talk to from the start of this project. She told me she collects bottles and cans from her friends, and takes them to cash in. She would check trash cans for recyclables along the way to the redemption center. She's retired, and does this to keep her mind and body busy. I told her about the project, and she thought it was a good idea. She offered me a papaya, but I told her that I have a tree. It's funny, some people always offer what they have. Certain people. Just like that. She told me I should write a book with all my stories from the road and people I've met. She was pretty shy and rode off before I could get my camera ready. But I'm happy to have finally talked to this woman after seeing her around town for years.

I headed out to see someone who I now call a friend. Her son showed me their garden. Tucked away in Makiki, they've carved out a nice size plot to sow the land. It's impressive.

Dry land kalo! I was told not to eat this kind of kalo found in the wild. It supposedly becomes one-thousand needles and pins in your throat. But maybe that person didn't boil or steam the kalo enough.

Lemons from my yard. Hawaiian orange from someone else's.

He told me that feels like a king with his scepter of bird of paradise. He is.

I trekked back into Palolo Valley to give a small bit of appreciation to someone who gave me some of the most wonderful tangelos ever. She wasn't around. So I left a few things for her.

I made one last stop in Palolo, to give a few things to my friend's father. He's the backyard farmer that gave me mugwort and goya some weeks ago. I didn't think my friend was back in town from her trip, but I was greeted with a bottle of Habusake, (snake wine.) This is from the motherland of Okinawa. There's a viper in there. I know snake oil and snake juice are supposed to have some kind of medicinal qualities, like sexual potency. I like old time remedies. Often small quantities of poisons that are good for you somehow. I'm thinking of trying to make some centipede wine. Maybe fugu whiskey would be good too.

We took a drink. I told her that I had to have some Habusake with a few Uchinanchus. I wouldn't know how to enjoy this otherwise. I already had on my Orion Beer t-shirt.

I took the long way home through Palolo Valley. I rode all the way up Palolo Avenue uphill, and around to 10th Avenue and coasted down. I relaxed and threw my hands out and my head back. The sun was behind the heat-swollen rain clouds. The air was cool. Families returned home. Charcoal grills lit. It was a perfect ending to this day. And a gentle goodbye for this segment of this project. Thank you Palolo Valley.

I planned to make dinner for my family and friends with the things that I have gathered recently. This was the perfect coming together of all my work. It seems like I have been working so hard just to get to this point somehow. Preparing, cooking, and enjoying food and the conversation of others has become pinnacle. Simple pleasures we used to enjoy more. I'm not learning much of new, maybe I'm reforging some old paths. And relearning what we need to survive; to nurture both physically and spiritually.

Stir-fried beet tops.

Steamed kalo!

And poi!

Eggplant.

We prepared the venison I received. The meat was extraordinary. The texture was so fine. No fat, but tender like nothing else. It cuts like the finest Ahi. I cut the pieces thin to be cooked Yakiniku style. We marinated some. These were marinated in olive oil, salt, garlic, black pepper, and rosemary.

These were marinated in sesame seed oil, olive oil, salt, black pepper, and garlic.

And finally Worchestershire sauce and green onions.

These I cut and left plain. We grilled these up with butter and dipped them in sesame seed oil, salt and pepper after cooking.

I'm not much of a red meat eater. But I enjoyed this meal. Maybe it was hunger. Maybe it was the craving for high quality proteins. Maybe it was just the fine taste of the venison Unprocessed, wild deer, culled to sustain our lives. As cultures have done since we learned how to hunt. I don't know what could be better.

We still had some lychee for dessert.

And then, we had some snake wine. My new friend has an affinity for snakes, and the timing of this acquisition seemed to be impeccable. The smell of this elixir is a little rough; something animal like, something like chicken. But the taste is sweet and of cinnamon. Habusake feels good going down. It's not harsh at all. Maybe even healing. My alcohol-sensitive friend had no adverse affects. It could be beneficial to you somehow.

Good food. Good people. Good times. Thanks.

Day Twenty-One

2008-07-15T09:24:00.002-10:00

Entry of today will be uploaded soon. Hold tight. Getting my thoughts together.

A fantastic day. Thanks everyone.

For Tuesday

2008-07-14T12:51:00.003-10:00

The segment we shot last week at The Arts at Mark's Garage will air Tuesday morning at 6 am, and then again during the 5 pm news on KHON Channel 2 news. Kathy Muneno is the mind behind this story, many thanks to her. Set your tivo, or vcrs if you still have one. I know most people aren't up, or at work at these hours. You can witness my nervousness and stumbling over my words.

Day Twenty

2008-07-14T10:48:00.009-10:00

Sunday. Second to the last day of this project. I'm conflicted. I don't want to stop this. It's only been three weeks, but it has been an incredibly intense time. My life is different. The way I look at things is different. The way I look at people has changed. Now when I see people outside talking, I want to go talk to them. I say hi to everyone I pass on my bike. I have to get back to work on Tuesday, but I'm thinking that I will somehow continue some of this on days and hours off. I don't know what I can commit to this in the coming weeks, but I feel like this will go on. The spectacle of seeing if I can survive has maybe run its course. But I really want to continue the connections I've made with people. Trades have been made, and total strangers have been incredibly generous to me. Lucky you live Hawai'i, ah? Yes.

I shared breakfast with people I love. One grew up in Jamaica, and sharing with him all the tropical fruit we have to offer.

I went back to Palolo Valley today. It seems like of all places, this feels so comfortable. I lived here for the first five years of my life. I never really thought about it that much until recently, but all the sights, sounds, and especially smells of the valley are so embedded in my memories. My grandmother and I used to walk to my aunt's house here. My mom used to take me to the corner store for Icees.

My first stop found me some sour tangerines. The owner warned me about the citric acid, but I'm stubborn and I wanted to try some. They're not that bad, like eating Sour Patch Kids. They're cute, and fit in your hand. I left some bay leaves and a lemon.

This next stop was for these Chinese mangoes. I don't know how they fare compared to other mangoes, but they look a little like the Shibata mangoes I received last week.

I gave the owner some basil, lemon, and bay leaves. He also gave me eggplant. He told me that they're a little aged, and so could be tough. I have the same problem with eggplant. I always forget to harvest in that window of tenderness.

This is the owner of the mango tree, and now a new friend and contributor to the project. He reminds me a lot of my father and my uncle. Hard-working, industrious, giving.

Further into the valley, my eyes sparked a beautiful lychee tree. Bright reds, well pruned, with smaller fruit. I've come to learn that these smaller lychee are hybrids and taste different, much sweeter. The seeds are smaller, so there's actually more meat in these little ones.

The gentleman I met, he made my whole day worth it.

"I can have a few lychee?"

"Bruddah, where you from? You know all my neighbors, they all like lychee."

He had bags of picked fruit ready, and more empty bags ready to be filled. Of course he's got requests, he's got the nicest tree in the neighborhood. He's really proud of the tree and told me it's over forty years old. We talked of the fragility of the lychee flowering season. And the history of the neighborhood. He's an industrious man, and was in his shop working when I came by. He appreciated that I had a fine arts degree in sculpture. We talked awhile, about the project and sustainability in Honolulu. And he told me the secrets of eating wild chicken. I should have met him at the beginning! There's always more chicken on that mountain.

I found a betel nut tree. I picked a few, but I don't know the proper method/ritual to consume these. Suggestions?

On a far off street, there was a house that raised this moss. Across the street, which seemed like state land, this farmer also raised his moss. They also decorated the trees for Christmass. I love Hawai'i's all year Christmass decorations. I love even more these kinds of mini re-annexations of land.

Between a few streets was a public park with a trail meandering through it. On the trail were trees of tangerine, Hawaiian orange, tangelo, and soursop. I picked a few fruit, but they weren't too good. Sour and dry. But with the proper tending, they could be fantastic. We could do so much more with our public space.

I met this contributor through a sister of a friend. She contacted me offering venison for pomelo. She had brought down an axis deer in Kalaupapa with some friends. Apparently, the deer are taking over the town and have become a nuisance to native fauna. Much respect to anyone that can take down something so magnificent. I'm not sure if I could. A few weeks ago during my hunger pains I would. She gave me a huge bag of venison, incredibly red and lean. I gave her two jabong, one of red meat, one of yellow. And some rosemary. It's funny, I feel like I've traded up for this one.

I'm currently defrosting the meat and I plan to share a meal of it with family and friends. There has been so much goodness shared with me during this project, I need to spread it around.

Today's catch.

I have to mention that during this project, I've had the most delicious lychee and mountain apple. I've found the best in the game when it comes to these fruit.

Oh yes, and I'm still eating the sam gae tang I made earlier. I have a lot. And I won't waste it. There is something incredibly good and healing about it. Thank you to all those who responded to my lack of vocabulary for this dish. I will try some garlic in it the next time.

My early evening dinner consisted of fruit and poi. I've never eaten so well. So fresh. Everything is so much better. Not just in taste. But meeting the hands that harvest. And basking in the passion they have for the fruit of their labor. Like a meal made with love, it's that much more enjoyable. Trading paper currency for produce at a chain store now seems so disconnected.

Things have changed. Thanks everyone.

Day Nineteen

2008-07-14T10:21:00.003-10:00

I spent the entire day today at The Contemporary Museum's Art Spree event. The collective I belong to, The AV Club of Honolulu, built a piece we entitled Catwalk. Participants were encouraged to put on Japanese-styled geta slippers with different image stamps on the souls, ink them up, and take a stroll on the stage. The getas left behind images of cats, flowers, stars, and other kid-friendly fun. As the day went on, images under the canvas started to come through, like making a rubbing. Two giant rats. The stage was also amplified by way of four piezo contact microphones. The sounds of geta on wood were put through echo effects, making the keikis' tiny steps sound like monsters taking Tokyo. The kids quickly caught on to this and often adjusted their strides accordingly. Good times.

A clean slate. A brief moment of calm.

Soon, ink was everywhere.

Good people.

Sounds went through here. Playing DJ with slippers and footsteps.

I made a new friend today. I had met his mother earlier in the project. She gave me eggplant, mango bread, and valuable information.

Today, the two of them brought me a bounty of kalo, beet tops, and gyoza.

And they played on Catwalk too.

The rest of the time was breakdown and clean up. We were exhausted.

Days Eighteen and Nineteen

2008-07-13T16:47:00.003-10:00

Friday and Saturday were spent setting up, participating, and breaking down the AV Club of Honolulu's contribution to Art Spree at The Contemporary Museum.

Switching gears is hard. Switching back is even worse. While I am now used to not eating much, going back and eating certain foods, and then returning is hard. My body seems to know that is it going to be in a little famine mode and I start craving things. Like sugars. Carbohydrates. My mind is telling me to stock up while I can. I guess this is coded within us. Like when bees gorge themselves with honey when they believe their hive may burn down.

I'm uploading now. Pictures to come soon.

Day Seventeen part 2

2008-07-11T23:42:00.007-10:00

I headed out to Mark's Garage early this morning for an interview with KHON News. The segment will be about the Eco/Logic exhibition and the subsequent work that will be coming out of our community/artist pairings. The segement may air next week, either Monday or Tuesday, keep your fingers crossed. These kinds of interviews always make me nervous, I'm not sure if I said the right things. Trying to condense all my thoughts into concise sentences escapes me.

Breakfast this morning. I'm sure I'll be eating this soup for a few more days. I can't complain. It's got so much goodness packed into it. I learned the name of this soup tonight, but I've already forgotten it. Anyone know. Somebody must.

On my way back from Chinatown, I passed by an apartment building I used to live in. In the alley parallel to the parking lot, there is a tiny strip of land where everyone used to dump all the things that wouldn't be legal to throw in the garbage.

But things have changed here. In addition to the "No Dumping" sign, there are signs of life. Ground cover plants of sorts. And a papaya tree.

This reminds me of Gaye Chan's Eating in Public project. Diggers have been here. A wasteland of car batteries and sofas transformed into a little strip of green and fruit. I want to meet the people behind this. I wonder if it was a community effort. Sanctioned? City and County?

I found a big noni tree at a high school. Trespassing, maybe. School's out for summer.

Then I saw all the fallen noni on the ground and I didn't feel bad at all. Some people must harvest these, they're too good to be true. But by the looks of things today, no one has been around for a while. I picked up about four over-ripe, oozing fruit, and took more solid ones from the tree. I'm sure my bag still smells of the sickly sweet goodness.

This was the first house I stopped at during this project. This was before I had really developed a clear vision of what I was doing. I just asked the woman who lives here for a jabong as an experiment of sorts. She was really welcoming and gave me a ripe fruit she had picked sometime earlier. I returned to her house today to give her lemons, papaya, and bay leaves. I thanked her and told her more about the project.

A house in Kapahulu had mangoes for sale for a dollar. No one was here last time I stopped by. I met the owner today. I told her about the project. She gave me a mango. She wouldn't take anything in return, but was nice.

Leave a dollar, take a mango. Two dollars for hayden mangoes.

I also went back to my first ulu source. Street overhangs. No one home. I don't think anyone picks these as they litter the street below. I want to thank the residents soon.

And then I found a house with the most beautiful mangoes I've seen this year.

I get so happy seeing ripe mangoes these days.

I met the resident of the house and she offered me mangoes. She gave me not just these, but a big bag of what I think could be Shibata mangoes. Smaller, less sweet, but not much of the figer the common and hayden mangoes have. I gave her basil, lemons, and papayas. This was such a score of delicious mangoes. I've been sharing this catch with everyone I know.

On the street somewhere, I found a license plate. It's on my bike now. If this belongs to you, stop me, and I'll give it back. Until then, I ride with truck plates.

Today's offering. The mangoes! I can't remember the last time I've received a bag of mangoes like this.

I will have adequate sustenance for Friday and Saturday that I will have to take off somewhat, and do this.

I will return more full time to the project on Sunday. There's not much more time for me to be so immersed in this. Please contact me if you want to trade something. Or if you want me to bake you cookies. Or I could do a song on the Jew's Harp for you.

Day Seventeen

2008-07-11T23:41:00.002-10:00

Sorry. Things have been busy. Updating. Soon. Hold tight.

Day Sixteen

2008-07-10T13:53:00.006-10:00

The nutrient-rich meal last night gave me such a good sleep. I woke up ready for anything. I had a good supply of food in stock, and more energy than most days of this journey.

One of the soursops I picked in Manoa was ready for eating. Also for breakfast was a Hawaiian orange I scored last week.

I've read that soursop is 80 percent sour, and 20 perecnt sweet. I don't know about that, this one seemed more sweet to me. The meat is creamy and just a little fibrous. The seeds are toxic somehow, but easy to find and spit out. Some people make drinks out of the flesh. There is a little sickly sweetness about the fruit, very faintly of durian.

This is one of the nonis from my miniature noni tree. These mini fruits are great, there's not much seeds. I ate about half of this. I'm still getting used to the taste of fresh, raw noni. I hope it's doing magical things for me.

In Palolo Valley, I met this young lady who gave me tangelos. She had two trees full of really nice fruit. I gave her some papaya and lemon.

Crossbreed of tangerine and oranges I suppose. So bright.

These lovely ladies live further back in the valley and had a lychee tree at the end of its season. All the easy pickings were gone. They let me climb up into their tree to harvest. Their yard was located above the street level, so what was a ten foot climb, turned into a much higher drop. I love climbing trees though. We talked story some. They didn't want anything in return for the fruit, which seems to be the normal case with the people I've met. I gave them some bay leaves, papaya, and lemon. I've found if I just give people a bag of things, they'll take it. These two liked the camera.

Big, bright lychees.

Far in the back of Palolo, found a house with two healthy mountain apple trees. I asked to pick some, and she picked them for me. It's understandable that you wouldn't want strangers in your yard, at least for liability reasons. I was surprised the previous house let me climb their tree. She gave me quite a large load of mountain apples. Bigger, brighter, and sweeter than the sad ones I grow. I gave her some of what I had and explained the project.

How can you have a bad day when you have a view like this in the valley?

My new friend that teaches at a charter school. Part of their curriculum focuses on sustainability. Malama 'aina: take care of the land. So simple and pure. Teaching kids respect and love for the land is so crucial these days. Western cultures are finally catching up and relearning what more indigenous cultures have passed on for so long.

I traded with him my usual catch of papaya, lemons, basil, and bay leaves for these smaller, rounder lychee. These are absolutely delicious. Sweeter, and with a smaller seed.

A ground mango. Up this street was a bunch of houses with perfectly pruned mango and lychee trees. The trees were cut back so none of the fruit hung above about six or seven feet. I may have to return to this neighborhood sometime in the future.

I had been riding for hours, so I stopped by the Korean Buddhist temple to rest a bit. I could have stayed for hours. The grass was soft, and the lotus flowers were in bloom.

On my way out of the valley, I met an old lady who had jabong with red meat inside. Sweeter than the others supposedly. "Kubo?" she asked me. Maybe she knew one of my grandparents. I gave her the rest of my stock as this was my last stop. She told me to come back when I wanted more.

The catch of the day.

I returned home to cook up the chicken I bagged yesterday. I prepared a Korean soup that I don't know the name for. Stuff the chicken with mochi rice, cover with water, boil with dried dates, ginger, and ginseng. The ingredients were given to me, a collaboration of sorts. You bring the dried goods, I'll bring the chicken. We'll share the soup later.

This soup takes a while to make. You can't make this when you're hungry. I was starving when I prepared this. I started about six. I didn't eat until about ten. I was past the point of hungry, but it was still quite a satisfying bowl of soup. The sinewy wild chicken meat is fine boiled down in this soup. I imagine it would be quite tough any other way. I have leftovers that should last me a few days, so I might be ok in the protein department.

I'll sleep good tonight.

Day Fifteen part 2

2008-07-09T23:20:00.007-10:00

In part one of this entry, I didn't talk much about the day I had, just how maybe it affected me. My apologies. I crossed a few more lines today.

Some nice hayden mango for breakfast.

Hawaiian orange.

And I tried to eat some of this noni for all those magical benefits. Noni in this state smells like vomit, tastes sweet, and tastes like burning all in one. I left this and another one in a container in the sun to ferment and breakdown. I read that method would yield juice I can sip. I was buying noni extract in bottles, for way too much. I have a miniature noni tree that fruits miniature noni. Now, I feel a little more confident in trying to consume these. Maybe that burning taste is the natural state, and all the bottled stuff I've been drinking has lost that medicinal quality in production and pasteurization.

Here we go.

Today, I headed out to the same place I tried to trap chickens. I had a mission. Since this project began, I wanted to catch one of these birds to see if I could eat it. I don't know if these illustrates some kind of sustainability or not, but I wanted to see if I could bag one and provide a protein source for myself. As I learned the previous day, these foul are fast and much smarter than I thought. Don't underestimate them. Traps didn't work. Chasing them is absolutely futile.

I brought some koi pellets with me, they somehow love these. I learned these birds are well fed everyday by at least two people: a nice old man and the mailman. I'm thinking a lot of hikers throw scraps to them as well. I threw the feed to a few, and soon many gather. A few that are probably younger and more fearless got really close to me, right at my feet. I tried to grab a nice hen. My hands touched feathers, but that was I close as I was going to get.

After this attempt, most of the chickens headed to the guava tree bush where they nest and hide from predators. I followed with a pellet gun. The bush is thick, it's not friendly to people. I found a nice open spot and waited. Chickens soon came around, and I threw feed to them to try to get them closer. But all my sudden moves kept them at a little distance. I took shots at two hens, both were hit but got away. Chickens are hard to take down with a pellet gun, even with the high power of the one I was using. I think one of the chickens I hit may have eventually died, and I feel bad about that. It was injured, and wandered off, I couldn't catch up to it up a hill and through thick guava branches. I went back to my open spot and waited. A black hen meandered to me, followed by a few others. I threw some feed. I let them relax. I drew and put the hen in the crosshairs and let the shot fly. The projectile pierced through the hen's neck and it stumbled and ran down a ravine. I wasn't going to let this one go to waste, so ran, tumbled, and slid after her. I lost her, but I knew the direction she fled in her death throws. The angle of the hill was steep, and I soon found myself sliding out of control. I kept waiting for a root to grab onto, and it came about quickly. I stopped, then allowed myself to slide further to catch up to my game. In a flatter clearing by some root outcrops, I found the carcass. I removed the head to try to bleed it. It was unnecessary as the neck wound was sufficient. With gun and hen in hand, I had to climb back up the mountain, sliding and falling all the way. I had a good distance to get back up, and I was depleted by the time I made it back up to my gear. Somewhere along the trek, I lost my sunglasses on a tree. It's a good trade off I suppose. Maybe I needed to make on offering to take a life. Anyhow, dead chicken in my bag, bleeding through. Chicken head in my pocket, bleeding through. Chicken blood smells strong, like when you prepare a chicken dish, but ten times stronger.

I brought this hen home to prepare her. I blanched her in boiling water and pulled out the feathers. This process is labourious and requires patience to do a good job. Then I cut open the carcass to remove the innards. Chicken innards smell horrible. Just as chicken manure somehow smells so much worse than horse or cow manure. I've seen all these cleaning processes when I was a kid, so I wasn't so much afraid of it. All the smells brought back those childhood memories. I'll never get over the smell. It stuck under my fingernails. I've heard of people who dislike chicken because of the chickens they had prepared. I'm not sure if I would do this again to eat a scrawny, sinewy bird.

I saved the liver, heart, gizzard, and feet. I don't know if I'll eat these delicacies. I'm thinking more of making soup. Feral, real-world free-range chicken have very little fat. Small in the breast area. This is what chickens look like without hormones, antibiotics, and genetic modifications.

I set the chicken aside for tomorrow. Tonight was a potluck full of amazing people and foods. This took place in Manoa Valley. Everyone I met here were completely welcoming and warm. Most were non-meat consumers. We talked of this project, and I received some good tips on my survival. I need more salt. And more starches. I need to build up more "yang" so I won't feel so down and sad sometimes. I also learned about growing sprouts to eat; they have amazing nutritional value.

This was such a contrast to my day's earlier conquest of animal.

Here is tonight's dinner. Amazing. I haven't eaten like this in so long. The colors and the flavors were so vibrant. Maybe any kind of cooked meals to me are so flavorful now, but I really think this meal was special. This meal was allowed to be enjoyed leisurely, over great conversation that seemed to blossom from this offering.

It was a full day. So full of contrast. You can't wish for much more.

Day Fifteen

2008-07-09T03:14:00.003-10:00

I will be pushing this project for one more week, until next Monday. I will have to put this aside and multi-task for two or three days coming up as I have obligations to some other work and Art Spree at The Contemporary Museum. This will be challenging, as the most difficult part of this is switching gears between what seems to be lives I'm living.

I think I almost had a breakdown today. I was shaving, looking at myself in the mirror, and I just got a little shaky and cut myself. My body felt like it was going to collapse. What brought this on? Hunger I suppose. Lack of some kinds of nutrients. I was told that I need more salt to balance out my "Yang." You're less soft supposedly with more yang.

I was thinking about this short journey, and though it may seem insignificant to everyone else, I feel like I've really ventured so far out of my comfort zone and general routines that I don't know what to do when I have to go back. Some parts of my life are in disarray, illustrated by the crazy, unorganized mess that has become my living area.

I found some balance and solace soon after that episode. A friend came over and we headed to the beach for a late afternoon swim. I passed out on the sand. We swam some. I let everything out. Just as the hunger stresses your mind and makes you feel like giving up, being in water allows your muscles to relax in less gravity and you are able to free some of those stressors. Redemption.

After the beach, I headed over to a potluck that someone I met on a trail invited me to. I brought with me an ulu and a jabong. I feasted on the most amazing spread of vegan, vegetarian, and macrobiotic foods. The colors were amazing. The house this took place at is sort of a group home, with a huge garden. Every Tuesday, resisdents and friends harvest from the garden and prepare a communal meal. Others come over with their own dishes to share. I found out that most of the food prepared were locally grown. Just a small, simple model of a kind of sustainability. Sharing and eating with others is such a easy and beautiful thing. I was welcomed by the kindest people I've met in a very long time. Whereas I'm searching for ways to create some kind suggestion for a sustainable future, these people have been acting on it for some time.

Day Fourteen part 2

2008-07-08T13:50:00.002-10:00

Two weeks in. It's been a while. There's been so many changes. In me mostly. I've crossed some lines today.

I realize that shore fishing in Honolulu is a crap shoot. Proteins are hard to come by sometimes. Vegetables are hidden away in gardens and treasured, unlike all the almost wild, plentiful mango. Today, I trekked out to see if I could catch a feral chicken.

Breakfast. The last of the Ahi cakes.

Feral chickens. Not that feral I guess. They are well fed. They will walk right up to you if you have food.

I made an old school box trap with my bike basket. Box. Stick and string. Bait. Wait for the chicken to go in the box, pull the string. I even weighted down the sides of the box with bricks. I thought I was so damn clever.

I even did a snare trap.

The chickens. They are faster and smarter than one would think. I fed them, got them close to me and the box trap. They look at the box, and step back, even though they see all the feed in there. The noose almost worked once, but they are just too fast and jump as soon as they see you or the string move. Maybe with more practice, I can bag a hen with this method. You could throw a stick and hit these hens, or a stone from a slingshot would be good. You can get close, just as long as you make no large gestures or sudden movements.

At my residence, we have these birds called Bul Bul. They eat the mountain apples and papayas. Things I like to eat. One of the household bought a pellet gun to try to do something about these pests. I've been practicing and I think I have the sights zeroed in. I've been hitting a few every now and then. But today, this project changed everything. These birds eat everything I like. I've been feeding them. It seems like if I take their life, I should make good of it and use their body to sustain mine.

It's a tiny bird.

After the feathers are gone, there's really not much to them.

Honestly, the Bul Bul was not bad at all. The meat is tasty as they eat mostly grains and fruits, (the sweet things humans like.) It's all dark meat like a duck, but with very little fat. I sauteed this one up in olive oil, cracked pepper, and alae salt. De-feathering this bird was fast and easy, as was cleaning it. Heat from the pan allowed me to eat most of the bones with no problems. I would eat this again. I could get used to eating these. Maybe if I had four or five of them, they would make a good meal. A basket of them tempura-style would be nice. I wonder what kind of impact there would be if we hunted these birds. They're not native. We would have more fruit.

I've crossed a line somewhere. I guess I'm a hunter now. Not just a gatherer. I feel like I really appreciated a meal like, even if it was tiny. I killed, cleaned, and prepared this bird from its death twitches to my plate.

Day Fourteen!

2008-07-08T08:45:00.002-10:00

This project has been two weeks in. Can you believe it? There's been so many changes in the past fourteen days. I actually only slated this project for this time allotment , but it looks as though I need to continue somehow.

Uploading and editing pictures now. More to come.

Day Thirteen!

2008-07-06T23:31:00.004-10:00

I spent most of the good hours of the day working with The AV Club of Honolulu. Well, 2/5 of them anyway. It seems like we're all so busy, and maybe not really into this project. I've been so submerged into this experiment, that I feel bad. But we have it all together, and the actual performance will be fun. It's for the kids. How could it not be a good time? I just wish I didn't have two things going on at the same time. It's hard to switch gears to that direction. Even harder is the transition back.

I didn't get home until later in the afternoon, so no gathering and trading today. I realize too that I have this surplus of food that I need to do something with. I want to collect more, but at least in principle, I shouldn't waste a thing.

All this talk of community and connecting, I realize I've really put my own community and connections on hold. Funny how those kinds of things work. So I spent the rest of the evening with someone special. Gave her a jabong. We found a good recipe for Ahi cakes, so we cooked up the rest of the fish I got earlier in the week. I still had at least a pound and a half that was starting to go brown. Cooking together, eating together, it was really nice as I've been eating alone for the past two weeks. Like a damn scavenger. I was trying to share with some friends, but everyone is polite, and doesn't want to take food from the one who is experimenting with how much calories he needs. I wanted to give some Ahi cakes to my family too, but they were out in Makaha for the weekend. Hopefully soon, I'll cook dinner for them using some of the things I've been able to gather.

Could this project turn into something where I cook for other people? Maybe we could all get together and cook. Bring what you have. I'll cook it. Talk story.

Day Twelve

2008-07-06T21:49:00.011-10:00

Saturday. I made it this far. I can't believe it. It's strange, I was starving in the beginning, but now I seem to have so much food. I headed into Manoa Valley today to find an abundance of fruit.

And it sounds absolutely terrible, but you can get sick of eating sashimi everyday.

And even my yakiniku-style ahi has become just okay. I really miss tofu at this point. I spent about half of my life as a vegetarian, and I'm a big fan of fish now. I'll eat chicken and red meat now and then, but right now I really miss lots of vegetables. I'm not usually consuming this much fruit. I like raw broccoli. And raw garlic. Tofu. Natto. I could try to make my own natto.

This is my last ripe papaya for now.

Today's offering.

Somewhere near the University, I found a dorm with a nice yard and this tree. If you ask me, dorms are fair game. I did look all around for students, but found no one. I think this project would find an audience and participation with them. Maybe they're all gone for the summer, hence the abundant fruit. Or maybe most are continent dwellers and don't know what to do with our giant jabong.

At the dorm I left my card. And an offer to trade.

I couldn't pick fruit at this home, as all the residents were renters and were told very specifically that no one, including them, could pick the mangoes. It's a shame, as their driveway and roof were covered with ripe fruit. I was allowed to pick some of the fallen. I found some juicy ones.

At one house, there were two soursop trees. The resident didn't know too much about them, but told me he ate them sometimes, and they weren't too good. But he said they were probably nutritious. We thought this one would be ripe. I did some research on these fruits online, and I think the ones I gathered needs to ripen more. I hope the sunshine and warm air at home does the trick.

Here's my new friend and owner of the soursops. I gave him some lemons, bay leaves, and basil.

Just around the block, I found a house with ulu and mango trees. The woman there was really sweet. I was just interested in her ulu that were plentiful. But she also gave me her only ripe mango.

Not too far from the last stop was a house with a huge noni tree. The residents run some kind of herbal medication business and offered a few fruit to me. They wanted nothing of mine.

I found an over-ripe noni on the ground and decided to give it a try. It was sweet, and somehow spicy in a strange way. I don't know if they're supposed to taste that way. I know some people ferment them for a while, and drink the juices that ooze out. I think I may ram mine through my juicer and see what happens. Anyone know a good way to prepare noni?

I meandered through my old stomping grounds in Manoa Park and Elementary. I relaxed for a bit, found a water fountain and devoured three of my fallen mangoes. Sweet and messy. Great treat in the summer afternoon.

There are ducks in Manoa stream. Do people catch and eat these? They look so cute. But all I could think about was Peking Duck.

I stopped by an old friend's house to visit her mom. We talked story and I told her about the project. She has been into macrobiotics for some time, and has always fed her family healthy meals. She's also been trying this whole slow meals, or slow foods kind of thing. I like the idea of getting back to old traditions of cooking together, and enjoying a meal over conversation. She made me some leftover tempeh and bok choy. She also gave me some honey tangerines. I gave her mountain apples, basil, lemon, and bay leaves.

Honey tangerines.

The catch today. It was a heavy ride back home.

I made this snack for myself when I got home this afternoon. I soon fell asleep and didn't make it to dinner. I woke up after eight hours at four-thirty in the morning. I guess my body is telling me something and taking over.

I feel full and satiated this weekend. It's funny that after I eat now, I want to eat more. It's as if my body wants to gorge when it sees food, because it thinks this may be it for a while. I feel like I put some of my weight back on this weekend. Though I still can feel I've lost some muscles mass. I stopped my usual exercise routines for the most part during the past two weeks, as I've been trying to save calories for my rides. I think I'll resume those seeing as I've been getting some proteins now. I would like to have more vegetables than fruit, but I can't complain. It's funny, I thought I would be starving more. I've been coming home with so much food. Now I have a surplus. Strange.

Day Eleven part 2

2008-07-06T09:34:00.011-10:00

Some images from the holiday.

Breakfast. Same old. Same old. But not really. This was an over-ripe papaya that I was trying to cool fast. I left it in the freezer overnight. I let it thaw some, and the ultra-cold, sometimes crunchy flesh was awesome.

Sashimi for breakfast.

I prepared some ulu for parties I would be attending later.

I worked on this today. I make these pneumatic canons that usually shoot things like flowers and propaganda. I modified this one to shoot more solid things.

The ulu that I cooked.

I also brought a really nice jabong.

A few things I ate.

And then I had some "wheat juice."

I was somewhat conflicted if I should attend these holiday get-togethers. Should I eat there? I thought about it for a bit, and I realized these kinds of Hawai'i potlucks are really perfect examples of community and sharing. Everyone brings what they have, and shares. I'm assuming back in the day people brought more specific things pertaining to their trades: pig, kalo, chicken... I cooked up some ulu, brought that and a ripened jabong. (I also picked up some beer, I didn't want to seem rude.) The ulu was sort of a hit, I didn't expect to see anyone try it. Some kept eating. I picked at a few things. And then I realized my stomach had shrunk and now I get filled pretty fast. The corn I had was just amazing. I think food not prepared by my hands are pretty amazing. You take all the things you eat for granted until you are eating just a handful of things. Still, I can't complain. Prior to this get-together, I've been eating well. Sashimi in the morning!? I'm eating like a king.

Day Eleven

2008-07-05T10:29:00.002-10:00

There wasn't any foraging today. I gathered a lot of goods yesterday. I put together some kind of device that may help me sometime soon. I don't know if it will succeed. I cooked some ulu and took it to a friend's house for a July 4th celebration.

More to come.

Day Ten!

2008-07-03T23:08:00.020-10:00

Today was one of the greatest days on this whole project so far. After a couple of days of disappointments, I finally was blessed with a day of bountiful sustenance and really beautiful people.

First thing this morning, I went to Mapunapuna to catch the Fish Lady. I made a successful trade with her. She really took care of me. She really liked the basil, bay leaves, and rosemary. She was one of the first people I thought I should attempt a trade with. Her uncle is a long liner and often brings in Mahi Mahi and Ahi. The smaller and less quality fish that he can't sell to market, she drives around town in a van full of cooler. Fish Lady also sometimes has Moloka'i Channel shrimp and sometimes Butterfish. She has a route that seems to consist mainly of automotive-based businesses in industrial areas. I guess this working-class demographic are good 'kine, Old-Hawai'i, fish-eating folk.

Then I headed to my hometown, Kaimuki. Maybe I should have just started and based this project here. I collected so much fruit in a very short time period. I met some of the greatest people that made all the toil and torment worth it. Kaimuki is an old neighborhood, and most of its residents still hark back to the old days. The newer residents are often times the offspring of the area, taking over the homes and traditions of the place. I traded with a few people.

More important than the food were the tours of people's gardens, and stories they told. This is the connection that is part of a sense of community. Not just bartering goods, but sharing in each other's lives.

Breakfast. Leftovers. From this project, I have finally gotten the taste for bitter melon. I can still envision the demon that this toenail came from, but now I embrace it.

The goods for trade. I traded every bit of this today.

I met the Fish Lady today. Her English is a little hard, and she didn't quite know what I was getting at when I asked to trade. So I opened my bag of yard pickings and showed her what I had. She got it. She pulled out this block of Ahi and gave it to me. Three and a half pounds! I gave her everything I had. Fish Lady was really shy, so no pictures.

A loaded jabong tree I spotted in Kaimuki. The owner was extremely friendly and let me pick one. She didn't want anything to trade. I talked a bit with her about the project. She was camera shy as well. But so open, she treated me as if she knew me already.

The fruit I picked. She offered me another. I told her I was on bike so I should only carry what I needed. (I have a sizable hill to push my bike and goods up everyday.)

This man has a magical yard of all kinds of tropical delights. It's like a little Garden of Eden in Kaimuki, full of breadfruit, papaya, and other things I don't have the vocabulary for. We talked of the neighborhood, and its withstanding old-time feel and ways. He gave me two ulu (breadfruit) and some tips on how to cook it. Apparently, I was cooking it the haole way, with the skin on. Which was okay, he said. He showed me how he skins the fruit with a simple cut out bottom of an old steel can. I'm going to try to use a sharp piece of coconut shell I've been carrying around in my backpack.

Gifts from my new friend. He didn't want to take much, just some bay leaves. (Yes, I have a bay leaf tree if you need any. Fresh bay leaves are nice.)

I rode around Kaimuki for a bit, and I realized that I had enough food for a few days at least. And my bike was burdened down from all this dense fruit. I made one last stop at my friend's folks' house to see if I could get a tangerine.

Some things my friend's dad gave me.

And some others. Grapefruit and lilikoi I gave him all the rest of my stock: basil, papaya, bay leaves, rosemary, and mountain apples. He showed me his garden. And exchanged ideas on how to grow things. I'm new to this and I need all the help I can get.

Total bounty for the day. I can go a few days on this. I may take a break from gathering and trading tomorrow so as not let this go to waste. And I can prepare some of this for a potluck celebration tomorrow. Should hunter/gatherers get a holiday too?

I can't believe I scored this. Absolutely beautiful.

I ate this with ko choo jang and shoyu. I have such a new appreciation of food since the start of this project. Every bite is just fantastic.

And eggplant of course. I don't know if my cooking is getting any different, as I haven't made this kind of food in a while. I've been so starved for anything on the meaty and savory side and everything in that general area tastes wonderful.

Food is good. Making connections is better. Connections over a meal would be top. For the holiday, I will cook up some of the ulu and share it with friends.

Day Nine part 3

2008-07-03T09:26:00.012-10:00

Breakfast of champions. I mean it this time. These beans give you so much return.

I didn't really want coffee, but I wanted to experiment. I traded a papaya, rosemary, and mountain apples for a cup of joe at Red Elephant. The barista was camera shy, but told me that fresh fruit is always welcome. Finally, my first trade in a retail environment. Does this count? Is this more of a true "trade?" Or less?

A new friend.

She gave me eggplant. I gave her lemons.

She also gave me mango bread she received but didn't care to eat. I usually pass on these kinds of foods, but that's a lot of calories that would be good for me.

After the meeting, I left the office and there was a door out to the roof. The view of Ala Moana area opened up. And somehow, this almost made me cry.

I met the futurist Jake for a short meeting. I told him about what I was doing. I gave him some of what I had.

He bought me a chai latte. I was well caffeinated by then.

Sitting, eating, daydreaming in the park in Makiki. There are some moments in this project where I can stop and relax and take in everything around me.

Dinner. Eggplant. Leftover goya. Okra and green onions from the yard. I ate like a king.

Day Nine part 2

2008-07-03T09:03:00.003-10:00

I met a new friend from this blog, and yesterday we met to trade some goods. I had some lemons for her, and she gave me eggplant; and also a mango bread which she received, but doesn't like walnuts. We talked for a while about trading, and giving. What seems to keep coming out of these conversations is that these things always come back. You give what you can. You get what you need. She had been homeless before and lived in her car. Her exuberance and kindness were overflowing. We talked about this project making connections, and how we are so separated most of the time.

On my way back home, I stopped and talked with three different homeless men. One was quite intoxicated and I was just making sure he was ok. Another was an older Japanese man on a bike that I have seen around before. I gave him my recycling once at a gas station. We mostly talked of bikes. He has a kids bmx bike, but misses his old bike that was stolen. He had found a lamp and was trying to get money for it. The third man I talked to in a school's parking lot. I told him about the project. He gave me tips for being on the street. He gets his food and goods from shelters and churches that help out homeless. He had the typical shopping cart, though I'm not sure what he had in it as his belongings were neatly contained in plastic and backpacks. I asked him if he collected bottles, but he didn't. He told me that they're hard to come by now. People know where to go to get them, and some can be a bit territorial. You have to be fast and early. I learned that Chinatown vendors buy mangoes for a dollar a piece. If you have a source, you can make some money.

Comments

2008-07-02T22:08:00.002-10:00

I've posted comments that people have left. And I tried to answer and respond to them the best I could. You can go back and read them if you like. Thanks for all your input.

Day Nine

2008-07-02T19:44:00.003-10:00

A lot has happened in the past two days that I still need to address. How much do I have to trade? I realized that if I don't need too much to survive. There's been a question about me just relying on people's kindness. I wouldn't get all these goods if people didn't like this project. Or me. Or if I looked more threatening. Etc., etc. This is all true. Yesterday, my dialog changed from asking people if I could pick fruit, to asking people if I could trade with them. I think this could have really thrown people off. I got some confused looks, and denials. However, I was in Kalihi, and I don't fit in there. People seemed immediately suspicious of me. I tried to trade some fruit for fish at two local corner stores and was greeted with praise, but told that they couldn't do that.

I came to the realization that the old system in Hawai'i wasn't so much about trading exactly. People gave what they had, especially what they had extras of. You have plenty mango, you give your neighbors; and sometimes they have plenty lychee, they give you. It's sharing. It's community. I've found that most people would give you what they have if you just ask. Old communities are built on this kind of reciprocity and sharing. Everyone takes care of each other. Maybe trade is what occurs when you would like goods from those outside your relative community. You have no real reason to look after them, because they live elsewhere. But maybe you would like something they have, and vice-versa.

How did we all lose this sense of community? How is it that we can be so crowded, but not even know our neighbors? How do we build a sense of community? These are questions that we have to ask if we are to work toward sustainability.

More later. I need a break. Thanks.

Day Eight part 2

2008-07-02T08:43:00.009-10:00

Breakfast today. I made zenzai; boiled Japanese beans. More of a dessert I guess. I did use some sugar. It's nice getting some fiber and plant protein.

Packed up from the yard: basil, rosemary, and bay leaves. Packaged and ready for trade.

I also picked some mountain apples to trade.

A few lychees on the street. Most of the fruit were already bloomed and picked.

This was lunch. I'm not complaining, these were the most amazing lychee ever.

I had a meeting with Rich at The Arts at Mark's Garage this afternoon. I decided to try to trade him for something. I gave him the herbs and mountain apple.

Here's what he offered. Wire. Cable ties. Sake. I didn't take the sake with me. But we had an afternoon pick me up.

In Liliha, I met a woman who gave me a pomegranate. I told her about the project. She wasn't interested in trading. She wasn't into it at all. She was trying to get me on my way. I wouldn't call this one a success.

I still had two more fish. I cooked this one up for dinner. Green onions from the yard. I saved the fish's head to make soup with later in some leaner times. The bottoms of the green onions can be fried up nicely.

Day Eight

2008-07-02T01:48:00.002-10:00

Today was not the day I wanted it to be. There were no good trades or finds. There were some good connections. There were some good meetings, organizing, and planning. I didn't go hungry. Maybe there just wasn't a whole lot of new adventures that stood out. Just a lot of riding and denials.

There's a lot of unrelated and related factors to my problematic equations. This is probably the absolute worst time to be undertaking this project. This is straining relations. This is so far the most physically and emotionally draining event I have tried to take on. I haven't felt so tired in such a long time. Or so full of conflict and questions.

I'll have details and photos of this day posted soon. It's late now. I should probably try to get on to another day.

Day Seven

2008-06-30T22:30:00.010-10:00

I made it on this journey one week. I know it's a small step, but so far, it's been one of the more difficult things I've done. I've changed so many habits and routines at one time. I've changed my diet. I've gone hungry. And hunger is a terrible thing. I have so much more empathy to all those who go to sleep and wake up hungry now. I have no right to say that I can relate, but I can feel just a little of what kind of pain and sorrow you feel when you can't eat. And the kind of toll it takes on your mind, body, and soul.

Today was a new journey: I tried my hand at fishing. Fishing was never my forte. I just didn't have the patience to sit there and fish. I thought maybe being older, I would find some kind of relaxing quality to dipping a line in the water and waiting for bites. Let all my cares go out with the tide. No such luck. Fishing when you are concerned about what you can catch to eat is no fun. It's frustrating. And there aren't too many fish close to shore in Honolulu. And today, there weren't too many biting. Besides a few baby puffers, it was a wash.

I set up some crab traps and had a little bit of luck with those. The trap is basically a bucket with bait in it. Crabs go in and can't climb back out. One small Ama crab. I had a larger one that got away as I tried to fish him out.

I met a woman and her husband that fish off shore on a tiny boat/surfboard. They offered me fish right off the bat. I told them about the project and gave them some mountain apples in return. They really liked the idea, and mentioned that their son was just talking about how things were in the old days, and asked why things weren't like that now. Things like trading for goods. They seemed really appreciative that this kind of interaction and conversation could take place. Maybe as happy as I was. (I met them after six hours in the sun worrying about catching something.) The couple told me to come out next week when they will be back to catch octopus. It's overjoying to meet genuinely kind people out there. So many people, you have to search for the good in their hearts. And every now and then, you meet some that just show you from the get go.

I came home. Tired and burnt. I started cooking my azuki beans I acquired yesterday. I made a dinner from leftover veggies, raw crab, and one of the moana I traded for. It was my first full meal this week. I was starved and in a really horrible mood. I don't feel like I enjoyed it as much as I should have. But it was unbelievable. All this fresh food. Things were like this way back when. I start to get a little sad when I think about when this project is over and I'll be store buying most of my things. I'll try to continue some of these connections and trades. But with work and all of life's little things, I'm sure I won't be able to find all the time that I would like. It's ok. The crab I had today will taste sweeter in my memories.

Breakfast of champions

The crab trap.

Fishing is pretty solitary and lonely.

A baby puffer.

My new friends and contributors.

The bounty of the day.

Dinner. Finally. A full dinner. The only thing better would be sharing this meal with someone.

Day Six

2008-06-29T21:48:00.009-10:00

Today was mostly a "work" day. I spent the morning and most of the afternoon with the collective I'm a part of: The AV Club of Honolulu. Also see here. It's become an ordeal trying to juggle different projects. I have to turn off somewhat, change gears, and get my head in a different space. It's an entirely different job. The struggle comes in when I working with the group for the day, and my other life is still in play. I don't have much to eat. I watch them eat. I'm getting better at it. I just think the timing is difficult. But the work today was good. I spent most of my time behind my scroll saw. The repetitive work became meditative. I forgot about my hunger. And when I stopped, I wanted to go back right away. It was an escape from the constant thoughts of food.

This was breakfast. Delicious. Really. As much as I am a little tired of fruit, this mango and grapefruit were awesome this morning.

Lunch consisted of my leftover crab. A friend of mine tried some. Skeptically. I'm full of the powers of the Ala Wai Canal now. I could be impervious to all kinds of things.

Later this evening, I went to my friend Lisa's house to trade some produce. These are goya, or bitter melon. Okinawans say the goya tastes like a demon's toenail. Anything with that kind of description is worth eating to me.

I gave Lisa a papaya, lemons, green onions, and strawberry guavas. In return, Lisa gave me a whole a whole lot of mostly green produce. Many of which had Japanese names that I can't remember. One I knew was arugula. And the other I knew was mug wort. Mug wort supposedly has some kind of magical powers. At the very least, it is claimed as a mild hallucinogen.

This is the first time since the beginning of this experiment that I have the privilege of eating fresh greens. The goya didn't disappoint and was as bitter as I would imagine demon's toes to be. The arugula was hot like wasabi. I'm pretty content right now. But honestly, there's a little craving for something more substantial. At least I know I had some good nourishment. I can sleep well tonight.

Day Five

2008-06-29T19:28:00.014-10:00

Day Five. Today was rough. The day before consisted of so much climbing and movement. I guess I don't have enough food in me, so recovery time is long. Mornings are hard when I'm starving and I only have leftover and tiresome fruit to eat. When you are hungry, it's hard to gather up the strength to have a successful day.

Today was all about a search for some real proteins. The journey took me to places and culinary events I didn't think I would experience.

On my way home last night, I met this guy catching crab on th Ala Wai. He told me he ate them as well. His method was a pole with a piece of chicken tied to it. He lured the crabs out of their holes and scooped them up. In his net were two large crabs, big enough for eating I guess. He told me as long as you wash off the crab and let them filter out in some fresh water prior to cooking, it's okay. I asked if he was married, he said he had a girlfriend. I asked what she thought of his hobby, he told me she says he's crazy. I told him I knew just how he felt.

It's funny that I had an encounter with a crabber last night, as I was about to embark on a crabbing venture the next day at the same spot.

Day Five gleaning. I found a nice sized crate to mount on my bike. Score!

The crabbing crew.

Laying crab nets and waiting. I had a very nice photographer today.

SurvivalBike number two. You really can't ride with all this lashed on. And it's awkward to push. Now I know why people opt for shopping carts.

Fishing for crabs is even more relaxing than fishing for fish. Throw the net in, find yourself a shade tree, lay back, and forget all about it.

After a few hours and some unsuccessful pulls, we got a nice size male.

Waiting for my cholesterol-rich meal. I really had a hard time today staying focused and motivated. It's pretty amazing how much of a physiological reaction you get when starved of calories. It's not like I'm fasting, but I guess all the long days and short rests are taking a toll.

I'm not much of a fan of crab. I can pass it up at a buffet. Crabs are bottom feeders. Roaches of the ocean. Mud dwellers. And of course, the Ala Wai. But the crabbers I met, were older and had been eating from there for their whole lives.

But this hunger I felt was something new. Painful. Driving.

Day Four part 3

2008-06-28T20:06:00.010-10:00

I thought I would start documenting the how I look, so we can see my progress of weight diminishing. But it would be funny if I could actually gain weight.

Up in the mountains, as with more and more locations on O'ahu and other islands, feral chickens are becoming a presence.

This cat was eying out the chickens just like I was. I don't know if this cat could actually catch one, maybe just a chick. I was thinking if I saw him catch something, I could steal it from him; he couldn't run that fast with a big bird in his mouth. That sounds mean, but the felines have the the speed, agility, and claws that I lack.

I couldn't catch the chickens, so I decided to go for their unborn. Unfortunately, these eggs were rotten.

The chickens are probably fed by lots of people here, and they get real close to you if you sit still. This could be a good source of protein if I could figure out how to bag one.

After seeing bare trees all morning, I finally found some ripe strawberry guavas. I was eating as I picked, all the ones that got squished or pulled wrong. I gathered a bag full. And now I am absolutely tired of eating them.

Signs of life. I'm not sure why one would want to drag all these bins up to the hills.

I met this mountain man after forging on through bush and unused trails for a bit. (The bins weren't his. He stays in much nicer and neater facilities.) I gave him a papaya and he made me tea. We talked story for a while and I asked for some pointers on trying to live off the land. It was inspiring to see someone up there living in such peace. It seems like a struggle, but he seemed happy and healthy.

My new friend's residence. Check out the fence. It's all duct tape and branches. I gave him the roll of wire I found on Day One. I figure he could make more use of it for lashings.

Day Four was a great success, but ultimately very tiring. I spent the entire day walking up hills, hiking through forests, and biking. Until my body gets used to this kind of calorie intake, I'll have to plan my days better. But now I know what I can find and where. And on my way up the mountain, I spied many potential trading partners with nice mangoes and lychees.

Day Four part 2

2008-06-28T07:57:00.007-10:00

I got an email from an old friend and cohort in one of my last projects. Of the project, he says: "Something we really need to figure out, food sovereignty." I really like that.

Check out Day 3's comments. There's some good discussion that we got into.
For breakfast I had my leftover breadfruit and coconut. Breadfruit is so incredibly filling. I think if I ate mass amounts of this stuff in the coming weeks, I could actually gain weight

I headed up to the mountains today. I won't say exactly where, more about this later. But I immediately found some signs of life. Stumbling into this scene, part of me thought maybe something had gone terribly wrong. But I found clothes in many locations. I'm not really sure why one would leave clothes in the forest, maybe they returned to nature.

Stryker residue.

More to come.